Face Down
by Team GEMINI
Summary: My attitude stems from my love for you. I try my best to hide my true self, but somehow you still manage to see through my gruesome façade. You make my mind go blank and my heart sing, yet you act as if you don't know. Well my love I hope you understand.
1. Chapter 1

xYuki : Oh and a quick warning before you read, this is borderline M. o-o Like seriously… heed my warning!

NOT FOR YUUNO FANS. I REPEAT: **"NOT FOR YUUNO FANS!"**

I'm gunna get so much hate mail for this, I just know it…

**Disclaimer**: xYuki and all those affiliated with Team GEMINI hold no ownership to the song 'Face Down' by the Red Jump Suit Apparatus, nor do we own any owner ship of the Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha series and it's cast. We do, however, own a nifty little lobster named Bob the crab. Furthermore, xYuki is not to be held responsible for any hurt feelings caused by reading this story. And any messages received regarding said hurt feelings will be lul'd at and shared amongst all active members of Team GEMINI (population: 1.52).

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**Face Down – Red Jump Suit Apparatus**

**Team GEMINI  
**

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Have you ever wondered why life was full of bullshit? I know I did. I try to live my life thinking realistically, yet optimistically. "This world can't be that bad can it?" was one belief I had as a teenager, and "God's a good guy, even though he took my puppy away from me" was one I believed in when I was a mere child. In the end, as it comes down to it, this world really is just full of struggles and despair—an 'adult's world' you may say. Regardless of what super optimists believe, the world will always be covered in shit.

To be honest, the world always seemed so divided and empty to me, almost as if everything around me was withering away as I walked idly by. This decaying world was the very same world most parents religiously tell their children to take care of, while they themselves pollute and decimate it on a careless whim. It's also quite amusing how so many people could bow down to just one man simply because of a silly vote that tells them to. Everything that leads up to that pathetic 'vote' causes more harm than any good most of the time. Elections use up valuable resources the populous could use for town improvement; city sweeps, graffiti cleanup, increase in law enforcement officers, better healthcare plans… just to name a few, not that I really care. Yet, even though the vast majority should ultimately have the power, they yield to the very politicians who make false, empty promises, the very same bastards that cause propaganda to spreads lies and unease, and the very same source of the wavering hearts of mankind. When they're scared they'd bend over and take it in the ass just because they're told to do so. That's the law of the world… or at least that's the way I saw it.

The people are another issue though. There are those who believe themselves to be 'superior' to others and pick fight amongst other 'superiors' over petty issues just to make themselves bigger, while there are an equal amount of idiots that believed they are the scum of the world. These people would cower back and allow themselves to be pushed to their physical and emotional limits, because they are scared to speak up. I'm neither of those people, I'm something you would call a 'renegade'—okay, maybe that's putting it on a little thick. I never thought of myself as someone who was better than others, nor did I ever think of myself as one of those wimpy little bastards that would hide in their shells and let life weather it down till that protective shell became so frail, so brittle that even one word, one feather light touch, or depressing feeling could smash it and cause it to crumble. No, I would rather die than have someone else tell me who or what I should or should not be. Now whether I was a stuck up bitch or a spineless rat would really depend on who knew me, but I do know one absolute thing about myself. No matter how weak, scared, or angry I am… I would never, _ever_ hit the one I love.

My name is Fate Testarossa, outcast, idealist, poet, schoolyard terrorist, and insignificant being. This is my story and I'm not about to let anyone interrupt me. Got it memorized?

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**Face Down**

_Hey, girl, you know you drive me crazy  
One look puts the rhythm in my hand.  
Still I'll never understand why you hang around  
I see what's going down.

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_

Today started out the same as every other day for me. I'd wake up with a song in my head, rush to my desk so I could write it down before it fades, tripping on my own bed sheets as I approached, ironically it was that fall that causes the song to flee back into my subconscious—and it was like this every single friggen morning! Just imagine how many songs I've thought up and lost because of this ridiculous habit, I could've been a millionaire by now if I sold those songs.

After that epic failure I'd rush to the bathroom only to get defeated by my sister who runs in just one second; the crazy bitch would often poke her head out and stick her tongue at me before ducking back inside. I often kicked the door in hopes opening it, but mother would always shout out "Fate use your bedroom bathroom" before my foot could even touch the wood. In short, my mother was scarier than _Rubert Patternzon _without his shirt on.

With my nit-twitty older sister hogging the nice bathroom, I was stuck in the cramped bathroom in my room. I know, I know… it's a 'luxury' to have your own private bathroom and that I shouldn't complain, but that thing was so tiny it couldn't even be considered a bathroom! It was like a mini walk-in-closet with a toilet. Really, it didn't have certain 'utilities' that most bathrooms have. Like a sink for example, it didn't have that, in fact it didn't even have one of those cute wall cabinets with a mirror, or strangely enough… a toilet paper dispenser. And before you say anything, I know exactly what you're thinking: "what kind of bathroom is that?" Well I'll tell you straight up, it is one fucked up bathroom. It was just a moderately sized toilet, which I _never_ use because it's simply disgusting, and an extremely cramped shower station with some sort of mould festering in the upper left corner, it didn't even have a bar for me to hang up a shower curtain. Seriously, this shower was no ordinary shower, because this shower was _so_ small that whenever I would stretch arms upwards, they go just a tad bit over my head before touching the ceiling. Okay, maybe I am being a little too harsh on the shower; I am over six foot two after all. And promise to keep it a secret from both my mother and the idiots who built this house, but I think this bathroom only came to be so they could fill in one of the house's love handles and charge my mother extra for it. Of course this is only a guess…

Before I took my clothes off and showered, I always brushed my teeth. Without a sink in here I usually just turned on the shower and went from there. It wasn't always the driest way to scrub my pearly whites, but over the years I've learned to improvise and use my shot glass to hold some water. There have actually been days where I dreamed I brushed my teeth like a normal teenager—y'know in a sink—but I know that'll never happen, at least not as long as that evil harlot and I lived under the same roof.

After my unappealing shower in the bathroom from hell, and a slight run in with the mold colony which I have proudly dubbed as 'Fate's mold: Do Not Touch', I got out and dried myself off which was a difficult task in all. My hair, as beautiful and lush as it is, was as long as I was tall… in other words it was really, _really_ long. It would take me over a day and a year for it to dry out completely if I towelled it down by hand, but thanks to modern-day technology, I have girls' best friend the… hairdryer.

No one dared walk into my room, so I wandered around it freely without the need of clothes most of the time. I was comfortable with a towel wrapped around me, but in order for me to utilize the mighty power of technology, I needed dry hands or else I'd be a fried Fate extra sexy and extra crispy. My hair dried fast enough with the help of the hairdryer, but no matter how hard I tried I still couldn't get every single wet patch dry. It was like a curse really, one where I would be wet perpetually—no pun intended.

I waltzed over to my closet and pulled out the outfit I organized the day before. It was always a good thing to plan ahead, most especially when it comes to clothes. So many fashion crimes are committed every single day, and I'd be damned if I joined the masses and looked like an idiot, or at least one of those conforming bastards you see flaunting themselves around town. I like wearing clothes that didn't quite define me correctly. My current style was a mix between gothic and what my sister defines as 'hooker wear'. It made me contrast with my seemingly perfect twin, so I was satisfied with this.

A sudden chill crawled up my spine signalling the fact I had been in the nude for far too long, so I got dressed as quickly as I could, mindful of my hair and the buckles. I pushed up my boobs and did a little hop to see if my assets were still as perfect as ever, after that I plopped myself onto my little stool and began grooming my hair once more.

Even though I didn't have much time to waste between getting up and leaving for school, I always managed to make time for my morning shots of alcohol. Yes, I have a drinking problem, I admit that. I also know my other addiction was bad for me too, but what do I care? Booze and smokes go hand in hand, well one per hand or if I get creative hold both in one… this method doesn't work out so well. It also doesn't help that my mother is an enabler. She didn't care all that much that I took after her instead of following in my twin's dainty little footsteps, yet she still has the audacity to pretend to show some interest in my destructive behaviour. She herself has a drinking problem and a smoking problem, but she still tries to hide it from me and my sister. I've actually stolen enough of her alcohol that my mother doesn't even bother hiding them in a safe place anymore; she even buys me the stuff if I paid her for it.

Brushing my hair with a full glass of scotch (or anything that can give me a buzz) to my left always calmed me down, it cleared my head and comforted me, but today it just made me feel rather unsettled. I stared at myself in the mirror only to gaze into sultry rosso corsa eyes that glowered back at me. Staring closer at my reflection, I noticed that I resembled a panda (pale skin and dark circles around its eyes). I couldn't mask the dark bags under my eyes, even with ten layers of makeup. You see, I've been secretly staying up all night writing songs—well one song to be exact, just one. It had a special meaning to me, but it was because of that special meaning that I couldn't finish it. Every word I wrote down didn't feel right, so this silly song's been changes dozens, if not hundreds of times.

There was a sudden strange feeling of animosity and anxiety lingering around me when I looked over at the hanging Hello Kitty clock on my wall. Whether it was my brooding attitude or my 'who gives a shit' lifestyle, I just couldn't pin point what made me feel this queasy. I did know one thing though, today was going to be another shithole of a day. For one, I would definitely be seeing _her_ first thing in the morning, and I'd have to act like my pseudo self just to scare her off, or at least try to scare her off.

You see, _she_ and I grew up together. We were the best of best friends, but we both grew up and she found her place in society while I found myself in the backwash of it. Eventually our friendship dwindled down to a thirty minute walk to school and a small smile as we passed by each other in the hallways. We couldn't be seen together, even though we both wanted to be friends… it's just her crowd and my crowd didn't mesh very well, that much was obvious from the start. You can compare it to water and oil, you can mix the two together, but give it a second to settle and both parties would segregate. Another way explain it was, her crowd would rather see my crowd fall into the pits of hell, while my crowd would rather willingly jump to the eternal fires than spend another second with the 'preps', Kings and Queen of the drama.

"Hm, Kings and Queens of drama… that'd make a nice song." I mumbled to myself dryly as I pushed the brush down my lengthy locks of hair.

Returning to my reflection, I couldn't help but smirk at my appearance. I looked exactly like my twin sister –physical appearance only, and I mean _only_! As if I wanna look like that stupid, stuck up bitch even more than I have to be. It was a curse to look this damn good.

I wore minimal makeup, just a dab of cover-up to hide an ugly zit, and my favourite brand of eyeliner. I hated makeup to the core, but I do love me some black eyeliner. My clothes broke the dress code—hell, I didn't even wear the uniform, but who cares (other than the Principal)? At least I looked cute, and that's all that mattered. I wore a spiked leather collar around my neck, a studded belt around my waist to hold up my black miniskirt, fishnet arm warmers (to hide the downward slits on both of my wrists) with fingerless leather gloves on top (these were my favourite pair of gloves because of the chains and spikes), and to finish off the ensemble my favourite pair of hooker boots and my tight leather, zipper up v-cut top. All I needed to do before saying my school attire was complete was to put my hair into my usual style, pigtails with black ribbons holding them up. Standing up from my mirror side chair, I took a final glance at myself and figured a touch of red lipstick wouldn't hurt today. Yes, now my outfit was officially complete.

"Alicia, Nanoha's here." I hear my mother say from down the stairs.

"Be right down, Mom!" My sister replies with that annoyingly sweet voice of hers. I heard footsteps near my door and soon I hear her say, "Come on Fate, we're going to be late!"

"Fuck off." I snarled. My fingers twitched and the need to feed my secondary addiction consumed me wholeheartedly. I chugged the remnants of my beverage, enjoying the rousing sensation of the burning liquid as it glided down my throat. Taking a deep breath to cool the fires welling deep with my belly, I felt my right skirt pocket only to notice that the only thing in there was my iPod tucked in safely while my precious smokes were M.I.A.

"Shit, where are they?" I asked myself angrily as I began to frantically search for them on my vanity. The door subtly creaked open causing me to quickly turn my head and see who had rudely barged into my domain. I saw my older twin standing outside the door, who in turn stared back at me with a small smile on her sickeningly beautiful face. I looked at her prim uniform and cringed at the way she had her hair, a stupid looking low ponytail held together by a pink ribbon; the ribbon was a present from Nanoha I believe. Rolling my eyes at her, I returned to search for my suicide sticks. "Hey Boob-job, do me a favour and tell me if you see my smokes around here? I can't find the little fuckers anywhere."

My sister hummed and walked around my room, her high-heeled shoes clicked against my wooden floors. "You mean that red and white box sitting on top of your guitar?" she replied in a curious manner, her index finger pointing lithely before her. I quirked an eyebrow and turned to my guitar and sighed in both relief and anger, she was right. She was always right… goddamn. "You all set now, Stripperella?" she asks me with a taunting grin.

Quickly grabbing my deadly addiction and popping one into my mouth, I grinned and said, "Fuck yeah."

Placing my smokes into my pocket, and double checking to see if everything I needed was with me, I slung my guitar over my right shoulder, and I grabbed my black sunglasses. I slid them on and stared at my mirror licking my lips seductively, damn I look good! My sister glanced back at me curiously and asked why I needed the sunglasses, to which I courtly replied, "Because I don't want you to ever fuckin' call me 'Panda-chan' _ever_ again." My twin merely giggled and called me just that as she exited my room with a girlish hop in her step. I flipped her bird and begrudgingly stalked after her with an irritated look on my face.

I sluggishly trailed behind her, and just as I left I caught a quick glimpse of the beige strap that belonged to my dingy book bag left under my bed; I wondered how long it's been since I actually used it for something other than a paperweight… maybe two to three months tops, possibly four. Shrugging the thought off, I followed my twin to the stairs where I saw the cause of my annoying, stereotypical teenage angst, my unrequited love, Takamachi Nanoha.

Now if you ignored the fact she's a blindingly beautiful girl, student body president, in the top ten percentile, and sweeter than the sweetest cotton candy, you'd find out that she was just a normal girl with average hopes and dreams, and when I say 'average' I mean _average_. She was downright plain! The clothes she wore outside of school were neither flashy nor dingy, they were plain and boring. The way she spoke was calm yet assertive, but never too meek or aggressive. Even the way she walked could be considered plain! Then again, that's what you get when you force your youngest child to go to a remedial Catholic school—silly girl was never broken, just… _quirky_. Very quirky. Okay, she was a very disturbed child back then, but that's beside the point.

My mouth went dry watching her shapely legs climb up the stairs, they moved so fluently I couldn't tell where one ended and the other began. There it was that same constricting feeling deep within my chest that signalled my growing affections for her. I felt my heart jerk and twist, my stomach churn, and my cheeks burned hotter than fire, and they were probably brighter than ten million fireflies. She had this strange affect on me whenever she neared, and if she got too close I would orbit around her and dance around our delicate relationship.

God, I love her.

She wore the same thing as my sister did, an ugly brown blazer and matching fugly brown skirt, but she made it look just as sexy as the skimpy (and quite often cliché) sailor-fuku that the other schools had. I stared at her gorgeous body with a type of lust comparable to a dehydrated man/woman to an oasis. My glasses slid down the bridge of my nose, revealing a quarter of my gaze; unfortunately for me Nanoha caught on quickly and blushed. How cute. Other than the fact she looked yummier than yesterday, I noticed that she had her hair down today. Normally she would have it in an off-centered ponytail held together by a green hair tie, but today something seemed off about her… almost as if she was hiding something from me and the general populous.

One question arises here: "If she's so plain and boring, why are you so in love with her?" Well other than the fact she's a blindingly beautiful girl, student body president, in the top ten percentile, and sweeter than cotton candy, she made my heart skip beats and flutter like a buttering butterfly. In fact I remember a rainy day when she snuggled up against me to keep warm; I swear my heart was beat boxing at that time. That wasn't much of a reason, more like a cheesy way of avoiding the question at hand by offering a side effect of my infatuation. The real reason why I'm in love with her was because… she's the only one for me. The looks she gives me, the way she blushes whenever our hands graze, I can tell right away that our hearts are joined together by the red string of fate. But there was one thing keeping me from openly telling her how I truly felt, she had a boyfriend. And even though she knows how I feel about her and vice versa, she constantly ignores her own feelings for me just because she has a 'boyfriend'.

"You two were taking so long I thought I'd come up and see what was u—Fate-chan, what exactly are you wearing?" She asked me with a startled expression. "You're going to be sent back home if you're caught anywhere near the school like that!"

I grinned sadistically at her, the cigarette dangling on my lips dangerously. "That's the plan, Princess. Get with the program, school's for chumps with no talent."

"Fate-chan…" she mouths. "You know school is impor—"

"Shut up; let's just get this over with." I knew she meant no harm, just looking out for me… as always. I pushed passed my sister, not caring that I had shoved her upper half over the railings of the stairs, almost causing her to fall over (God, I wish). Taking a few steps past my secret crush, I pretended not to care about her unavoidable presence, but with a sudden strike of insight I realized why she had her hair down. Just before I completely passed her, I placed my left hand over Nanoha's shoulder and pushed her against the wall; the pictures hanging rattled against the sudden force. Without turning my head, I shift my eyes to look at her neck, a nasty scowl forming on my face as my rage gradually welled up within me. Taking the cigarette out of my mouth with my free hand, my voice just above a husky whisper, I asked her, "What's with the bandages?"

Nanoha instantly covered it with her palm and blushed. "N-Nothing… I strained it last night when I—"

"When you were what, on your knees?" I asked with a lecherous grin.

"Uh," Nanoha looked confused as to what I meant and replied, "S-Sure?"

My sister snarled at me and with her eyes dangerously narrowed, "Fate, grow up will ya'? You may do it, but Nanoha doesn't do things that." Hm, seems like she managed not to fall over… too bad, a shame really. The world would've been so much better without her—in my world at least, but then again in my world… everyone was better off dead.

"Well for one thing, you and I know very well that I wouldn't go near some idiot's miniature trouser snake, and hey it was a possible cause; you know how girls our age are. Boys this, boys that. But other than that all I can think of is that her rodent of a boyfriend hit her… as _usual_." I said with anger seething through my teeth. Taking two steps back I leaned in close to Nanoha, my arm pressing up against her neck, our lips nearly touching. "What was it this time? A backhand or did he just straight out strangle you? Hm, or maybe I'm putting this whole thing out of proportion and the real reason why you're wearing that shit is because of a stupid hickey?"

Nanoha's cheeks reddened as her lips trembled. She leaned her head in closer to mine, but with my arm pressing down on her neck she held herself back, biting her lower lip in regret and deciding that the pain wasn't worth the chaste kiss she so desired. I could see the need in her eyes, taste the lust in her breath, and feel the temptation burning her in our close proximity… she wanted me and I wanted her too, she knew that. Silence lingered between us with an overbearing presence, it really starting to get hard… to ignore. "No, no, and definitely… no! I just strained… myself studying. Nothing more, nothing less." Nanoha said with a confident, but raspy voice.

She hesitated in her excuse, she lied to me.

Placing my forehead against hers, I deliberately let out a defeated sigh and grinned as she hungrily inhaled it. "Whatever you say, Princess, whatever you say..."

"Okay you two that's enough, we've finally established the fact that Nanoha-chan is a study-holic, and that Fate is a paranoid psychopath, can we just go to school now?" my sister asks us in an exasperated tone. "Please!?" I knew my sister found it disgusting whenever Nanoha and I got too close to each other, so she always tried to butt in and interrupt us, but that was only half the fun. "Hayate-chan's waiting for us." She added before I could open my mouth.

Freeing Nanoha from my grasp, I turned to face my twin and frowned. "What exactly do you mean by 'us'?" I asked, "Lesbotron-9000's probably locked herself in the janitor's closet with that super sexy ESL teacher from England again."

"Fate, those are just rumours." my sister snaps.

I grinned at her and continued down the stairs. "Sure, nuthin' but rumours." I say in a low chuckle, my cigarette placed back onto my lips. As I reached out for the door knob, another set of footsteps coming from the left of me approached; I knew who it was, so I quickly plastered a smirk on my face before turning to face the newcomer. "Here to see your precious Alicia out the door, Mommy?" I asked with a faked sweetness lacing my words.

My mother, Precia Testarossa, feigned a look of innocence to match my tone of voice. "I don't know what you're talking about, Fate. I am here to usher both of my_ darling_ daughters out the door and wish them both a… good day."

"Mhm, right."

Mother nods her head and looks up at Alicia who had linked arms with Nanoha, I saw a tender smile spread across her face as she look up at her precious daughter. "Alicia, don't rush on your test okay? Take it nice and slow, and make sure to double check your answers twice."

"Yes, Mama." Alicia replied like an obedient puppy.

"Haha," I laughed, "That test isn't the only thing she'll be takin' nice slowly, ain't that right, sis?"

Alicia rolled her eyes and kicked me in the butt. "Be quiet, you!"

"Hey, hey, hey! Watch the merchandise, my ass is worth a lot of money y'know!" I shout half jokingly.

"On the streets maybe, but in this house your ass ain't worth shit." my sister replies tauntingly. "Now let's go!"

"Nyahaha, Alicia-chan don't be so mean to Fate-chan." Nanoha giggled, her eyes meeting with mine before a heavy blush appeared on her cheeks. She _so_ wants me. "But we really should be going or else we really will miss the first bell."

I smiled and nodded at her, causing yet another deep blush to appear on her face. She's so cute… bah, I'll ignore the fact that she made my heart skip a beat just now.

Alicia opened the door leading Nanoha out, sending a quick glare in my direction before following. I shook my head and flashed my twin the finger just as the door slammed behind her. Feeling proud of myself I decided that it was about time to follow them before my evil twin decided to ditch me again.

"Laters, Mom!" I shouted with a smug grin on my face. I thought I was home free, but Mother held her hand up to stop me from leaving, and walked up to me with her eyes dangerously narrowed as she told me to exhale. "What?" I asked her, my smug face sinking like the Titanic.

"I said exhale," she repeated with her arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently. Rolling my eyes, I did as told and burst out into hysterical laughter as she stepped back in recoil. "God, you smell like alcohol!" she proclaimed in disgust.

Raising a finger, I corrected her, "Scotch to be exact." God damn I love being a smartass. "Drank half the bottle in case you're wondering—oh, you can have the rest of it if you want, I'm grabbing some beer over at Tiana's place later. P.s – Thanks for calling me 'God', it makes me feel _special_."

My mother just shook her head disappointedly and walked away with a defeated sigh. Booyeah! Mom: 0, Fate: 1!


	2. Chapter 2

**xYuki**: I'm glad the majority of you enjoyed the story, and as promised I did get hate mail--well one, but still it was laughable. To reply to all of those who are thinking about sending me mail about my supposed "anti-yuunoism" I will say this: I don't hate him, but I just don't generally like him. I have the right to my own opinion as you have your own right to yours. I will continue writing stories the way I want to, so boo hoo to you.

I would like to say a special thank you to **TruePrime** and **Smiggers** who supported me with this story. :P

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**It's been a while since I replied to reviews, so I'll take a bit of time to do that now.**

To **Wakai Kaze**: I'm glad for your enthusiasm for this story and for Fate's personal bathroom. Sadly, I will have to inform you… I based that bathroom off of one of the mini-bathrooms I saw when my wife and I were looking around for houses. It was frightening… I believed it moved.

To **Mr. NoName who I shall dub Nanashi-san**: It brings me joy that you saw that side of Fate. I did very well intent to give Fate that hardened exterior, but only because she has a fragile heart. Alas, the Lobster named Bob the crab didn't last long. Found him with bubbles in his mouth. ):

To **LooMoo**: A ferret whacking, sounds like a very nice holiday. But the joys of seeing any Yuuno-bashing will come very… slowly. I'm trying my best to keep things real—at least something close to realism.

To **Alavon**: Alavon, baby, have I ever really let you down when it comes to the quality of my stories? Wait, don't answer that. The thing that set this story apart from the rest was because I actually enjoyed writing it. It isn't one of those stories where I feel like I'm forcing myself to write it. Now regarding your 'update' comment, you wound me deeply. I always try to update, buuut… my A.D.D catches up with m—oh hey look at that squirrel!

To **Nanoha89-san**: Please refrain from harming, Yuuno. I'd really like it if I could put the "No animals were harmed during the typing of this story" stamp at the end.

To **Jocknerd23**: Always a pleasure to read your reviews. It makes me happy that someone enjoys how I portray my characters. I personally enjoy changing Fate's good-girl attitude and flip it upside down.

To **Naru-Miya**: Not all stories revolving around abuse end with a happily ever after. Keep that in mind.

To **setsuna . kobayashi**: Well as long as there are people like you out there who love what we at Team GEMINI do, we'll probably keep this up till who knows when. And since you asked so nicely, here is chapter 2.

**Now for the rest of you, please enjoy. I made this chapter extra… saucy. You've been warned.

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**

_Cover up with makeup in the mirror  
Tell yourself, it's never gonna happen again  
You cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

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_

We walked down the street; I followed behind them a few steps back, my cigarette finally lit. I enjoyed watching the smoke rise up, and I secretly thanked God that Japan allowed its good citizens to smoke where ever they wanted to. I listened to my music set on low as I pretended listened to the chitter-chatter of the girls before me, but I even with the added distraction playing, I still heard tidbits of boy talk and school activities, y'know regular schoolgirl talk. Looking up, blinded by the bright, brown sky above, I failed to notice a certain sienna haired beauty walking along side me with a cheery smile; however, when I did notice her, I saw a rather curious look playing across her adorably round face.

"What," taking a quick drag from my cancer stick before pulling it out of my mouth to exhale, "do you want?" Nanoha didn't say anything; instead she grabbed my hand and brought it down to her level. She opened her mouth, licking her lush pink lips seductively before closing her eyes tightly, placing her lips around the cigarette right where my lips just were, and took a rather large inhale. I watched the lit end of the stick sizzle and fizzle as the fire burned away the tobacco and paper, leaving only a grey ashy substance to fall down to the ground and billow away. Taking my sunglasses off I asked, "Damn Nanoha, what the fuck are you doing!?" She said nothing, just stood there with her eyes sealed shut and her cheeks puffed out. "Uh… I don't suggest keeping that in…"

Nanoha immediately expelled the smoke in her mouth and began to vigorously cough. "How—cough—d-do—cough—you smoke—cough—this ju-junk!?" She leaned down and continued coughing, her hand letting go of mine only to be placed on one of her bent knees for support. Placing her free hand over her mouth, Nanoha continued her coughing, tears brimming in her pretty blue eyes. I couldn't help but laugh at my not so secret love's plight. "Jeez, Fate-chan, this isn't funny! You should stop smoking, it's bad for you!"

"Haha, you've got some serious balls for doing that, Princess." I said with a hearty laugh.

"Thanks," she replied sarcastically, her lungs still trying to expel the foreign toxin.

I looked at my twin sister and grinned as I said, "Did'ja see that? Nanoha's pretty gutsy."

"…" My sister didn't say a word, just gripped the strap of her book bag and continued to walk on.

Nanoha looked up, still coughing, "Alicia-chan, w-wait for me!"

Shaking my head I placed a hand on Nanoha's back and gently patted it. This poor girl was so cute it hurt; she's too caring and trusting for her own good. Honestly, I didn't know girls like her even existed anymore. "Come on hurry up before the Queen Bitch leaves you behind again."

"Mou, this is your fault, Fate-chan." Nanoha growled her coughing slightly lessened. "Take responsibility for this."

"How?"

Nanoha stopped her coughing and took my hand into hers. She looked around us and saw only a few people walking by us, all minding their own business. "Alicia-chan's out of sight, so…" I saw a playful, yet seductive smile on her face as she began to run into the nearest dark alley with me. "Nyahaha…"

Once we were safely secluded in the dark alley, Nanoha dropped her book bag and violently threw me against the brick wall causing me to drop my sunglasses and bump my head against it; my head thumped against the wall twice from the recoil of the impact before settling. I only had a second to wince in pain before feeling a whole lot better when Nanoha's soft lips pressed upon my own urgently, I decided to ignore her feint grunt of pain figuring it was nothing to worry about. My guitar slipped off of my shoulder and fell to the ground with a dull 'thud', but I didn't care I could always get a new one if this one was damaged.

She continued to kiss me with an unforeseeable vigour. I found it both intimidating and erotic at the same time, strange combination I know, but still… wow. This girl really knows how to kiss. This mildly aggressive moan escaped Nanoha's lips as she pulled away slightly to breathe. She smiled at me seductively and winked, I won't deny it… she made my heart skip a beat. The kiss resumed and my eyelids were starting to get heavy and my mind hazy. I could barely feel Nanoha's fingers tug at my top's zipper; however, I did feel the sudden slack in tension when the metal piece slid down its track.

Finally the last of my will power dwindled away and I allowed Nanoha to kiss me hungrily without a fight; I savoured the taste of her cherry chap stick. My hands began to wander down her delicious body; my fingers crawling underneath her shirt, her bra strap nestled just above my nails. I had one hand grabbing a hand full of her firm ass; while the other stroked her soft, creamy white skin. The kiss only deepened as the heat between us escalated, and if this situation was up to me, I fuck her right here, right now. God knows I would, but… this alley was gross even for my dingy standards.

Nanoha moaned into the kiss and pulled my hands off of her, I felt a little disgruntled about that, but she intertwined our fingers and brought them above my head, her body grinding against mine to seal the already diminishing space between us. I was getting too eager, too willing to stop this situation. Our tongues battled for dominance, making our kiss even sloppier than it originally was. Saliva began to trickle down the edges of our lips as the conflict waging within our mouths continued—the taste was amazing, like drinking in the sweetest of honeys. My tongue rolled over hers, pinning it down successfully allowing me to finally explore, but she pulled a reversal and pinned my own down. This battle for dominance was going to rage on forever had it not been for our need to breathe. My lungs were aching for air, but this girl kissing me tasted so damn good, I couldn't get enough of her. Nanoha was the one that broke the kiss, the moment we took a gasp of air she recaptured my lips and began the sloppy exchange once again, this time the kiss was hungrier, needier… dirtier.

My knees were growing weak, a side effect of being in love, but she was feeling his same weakness for her hold on my hands was loosening, allowing me to break free and wrap them around her body once more. Nanoha gave up and opted to wrap her slender arms around my neck, I embraced her tightly causing me to realize just how turned on she really was.

With my back pressed against the wall, I slowly slid down it bringing Nanoha with me. My rear end met with the dirty ground, putting me and Nanoha in an awkward position. She broke the kiss against and shifted her legs to straddle my hips, but that wasn't all she did. Bringing up her left hand, Nanoha cupped my cheek and trailed it down my neck before finally resting on one of my breasts. She smiled coyly at me and removed her hand, placing it on my shoulder instead as she leaned in to kiss me. I took this opportunity to sneak both hands under her skirt and feel her firm behind.

"Nyahaha that tickles, Fate-chan…" Nanoha giggled as she ended the kiss. I looked up at her questioningly, wondering if our little make-out session was done. She smiled at me sweetly and undid her blazer, followed by the red ribbon around her collar, and lastly four buttons from her white dress shirt. I gulped at the sight before me and asked her what she was doing, but she didn't answer me. She never answers me.

"N-Nanoha?"

Wrapping her arms around my head, Nanoha sat up straight and brought me closer to her ample chest. It took me a moment to finally understanding what she wanted me to do; I removed my hands from her rear and coiled them around her waist. I placed a gentle little kiss on the exposed side of her right breast before pressing my lips against it and began to suckle. I heard her moan for more as my sucking grew fervent, but I cut my losses and stopped in my tracks when I left my mark on her delicate skin.

"Why'd you stop?" Nanoha asked me as she tried to catch her breath.

I shook my head and leaned against the wall, my arms still around Nanoha's waist. "Cut the bullshit, Nanoha. Alicia might not be able to see it, but I do," I growled at her, my hand cupping her cheek as I used my thumb to wipe away her cover-up, exposing a nasty dark bruise marring her perfect porcelain skin. "Your eyes are red and puffy, and even the slightest bit of pressure on your lips causes you to flinch… he hit you again, didn't he?"

"N-No he didn't," Nanoha said looking away from me bashfully. She covered her eyes with her palm and smiled cheerfully. "It was an accident, and it'll never happen again. He promised." She added making her former statement contradictory.

"Promised? Nanoha, this is the fourth time he's hit you in the past week, and it's only Wednesday!" I roared angrily. My hands grasped her shoulders, forcing her to look at me. "Just because he says he loves you, doesn't give him the right to hurt you!"

"Fate-chan, just drop it okay!" Nanoha shouted back. "Yuuno-kun loves me, and he hit me because he's been really stressed at work, and—and I interrupted him."

"Nanoha, are you that fucking stupid!?"

"Don't yell at me!"

"Nanoha, open your fucking eyes, will'ya!? He's abusing you!" I stated. "You cry alone and the only thing keeping you together is because the douche bag swears he loves you!"

"And you do!?" Nanoha retorted with a sharp glare. I stared at her speechless, my mouth agape as I tried to summon the words that could cure the situation of its awkwardness. She began to button up her shirt and fixing herself up again, but it was futile, I saw through her crumbling disguise. "You've never been in love before, Fate-chan… you can't possibly understand what's going on between me and him."

"For one, your argument didn't make any sense. And two, the answer is yes. Yes, Nanoha, I have. I have been in love—no, I still am in love. With you, only you. I love _you_; I love you so much it hurts to breathe." I declared without hesitation. "I always have and always will, but you've been so blinded by this stupid infatuation with him that you can't see it—you can't see me! I've always been there for you and yet you barely ever listen to me! When we're alone, I try to say something but your mind is elsewhere. And when I try talking to you seriously you'd always have your cell-phone in your hand just waiting for it to ring or vibrate signifying you got another cheesy, fuckin' email from him.

Nanoha, whenever you're upset, whenever he hurts you, whenever he makes you cry, whenever the world seems to despise you, you turn to me help you forget; how the hell do you think that makes me feel, huh!? I'm not a sponge, Nanoha. I can't absorb all of your problems and carry them on my shoulders! I'm breaking and you can't see that. I finally have you in my arms, I get to hold you and kiss you, just like I've always dream of… but the way you see it, I'm just here to play Band-Aid for you..."

"Fate-chan, just drop it okay? Yuuno-kun loves me, and it won't happen ever again." She said with a weak smile. "He loves me, but I do understand what you're saying. I'm sorry if my actions are hurting you—"

"Damn right they're hurting me!"

"But I'm not like you, Fate-chan."

"W-What…?" The look Nanoha gave me was hard to decipher. I couldn't tell if she was being serious or being stupid. Somehow all of her emotions blended together into one sickeningly oblivious purée.

"We can stop doing these things if it'll make you feel better…?"

"I give up; you're completely missing the point… y'know, when you finally realize what's good for you look me up, because I'm officially done." I look away from her and pick up my sunglasses. "Come back to me when the Nanoha I know returns from the mystical bullshit land of Narnia—oh also tell me went she comes out of said closet, I'd very much like to make things between us official."

Nanoha crossed her arms and glowered at me. "That's not funny anymore, Fate-chan."

"Who said I was trying to be funny?" I snorted.

Footsteps echoed in the alleyway and figured it was Alicia. I looked up and saw my older sister frowning at me, boy this must've looked horrible. Nanoha looked like a wreck, a black eye and rustled up clothes and hair, while I sit here beneath her with my hands on her thighs.

"Just so you know Pam An., this isn't rape." I cracked out before bursting into laughter. My sister officially has the worst timing ever.

My sister stood there speechlessly and gawked while Nanoha panicked and began tidying her hair and clothes. It was stupid to try and hide what we were doing; Alicia did catch us in the act, so… why? Why put yourself through all that embarrassment instead of just goin' with the flow?

"Fate, Fate, Fate, Fate…" my sister sighed. "Just what on Earth do you think you're doing, hm?"

"Ehehe, tryin' to cop a feel?" I replied with a sheepish grin.

"Right…" My twin didn't seem all too pleased at me. "Nanoha-chan, get over here."

"Y-Yes, Alicia-chan…" Nanoha obeyed my sister's call and rushed over to her, shame written all over her face.

It was my turn to frown now. Even though I didn't do anything wrong, I still got the short end of the stick and got pinned for the blame. Sure the right thing to do was probably resist Nanoha's advance, but I'm a horny teenager, as if I'd pass up a chance to feel boob when I could.

"So that's it? You're going to have your way with me then ditch me in an alley?" I shouted with a frustrated growl. Nanoha looked back at me and sent me one of her 'apologetic' smiles. It seemed more like a mocking smile than an apologetic one. Just like that she left me. Ouch.

"Come on Fate-chan, before we're late for classes…"

Here I was sitting in unspeakable filth in a miniskirt, my 200,000en guitar in a gross puddle, my shirt undone with my heart broken underneath, and all the stupid girl can say is "before we're late for class"… aww crap.

"Hurry up, Rapist." My sister snarls.

Sometimes I wonder why I put up with this shit, but then I remember a very hard to believe fact: I love my twin sister.

"Fine, fine… wait up for me."


	3. Chapter 3

**xYuki**: Well give me a boot to the head, Alavon… I think I'm getting old, because I've been reading your penname as "Avalon"… Eighteen is definitely the new eighty-five. I really wanna apologize for that, I've been so busy lately I can barely think straight—not that I'm blaming my errors on my fatigue, those are just common nature to me. Though can you believe I actually updated just for an apology? LOL

Really sorry about that, it'll probably happen again someday. ); Just correct me again okay?

**And… I say my badass Fate stays. No matter what people say, she stays! :0**

**_Warning: this chapter actually deals with abuse, so if you can't tolerate this sorta thing, I suggest you stop; however, if you do chose to read on it would be best if you gave your opinion, but keep it on a light note. Do not have a miniature melt down just because I hurt your feelings with my mean, mean worsd. Good day._  
**

* * *

_Do you feel like a man when you push her around?  
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end  
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

* * *

_

I wandered around the school hallway with my iPod on full blast and a bored expression on my face. The teacher told me to get out of his class and stand outside, so I did as told, but like hell I'd stand outside just to listen to him drone on about how the internet wasn't for porn from behind the door. I'm a busy girl, things to see, girls to do, rules to break, y'know the typical bad girl agenda. The hallway was so quiet; all I could hear were my heels clicking against the tiled floors and the hushed voices of the teachers giving their lectures in their respective classrooms.

"Gaah, what to do, what to do?" I grumbled to myself as I dug into my pocket and fished out my smokes. My nicotine addiction had progressed to a point where I smoked them without knowing it. And the only reason why I realized I was even smoking was because of the gray smoke rising up.

Bobbing my head in time with the music and taking slow inhales of my cigarette, I began to think about what I had said to Nanoha two hours ago. I felt a tad bit guilty for lashing out at her like that, but she needed to hear it because she had her head so far up her ass she's inside out… stupid girl is blinded by denial.

The sound of locker doors and locks rattling caught my attention. I snickered at the thought someone was gettin' freaky-deaky, but then I heard something that made my heart stop cold and wipe the smirk off of my face.

"Y-Yuuno-kun, I—"

"Nanoha, shut up! Just shut up you lying little bitch! You know what you did!"

"I-I'm sorry I don't know what you're talking about!"

I ran up behind a wall nearby and watched them from afar, my blood boiling as the scene played before me. The blonde haired young man hovered over Nanoha as she clutched her right arm in pain, the look of rage on his moderately handsome face caused the delicate girl before him shudder in fear.

'No, don't hurt her!' I screamed in my mind. 'Don't touch her!'

"Yuuno-kun, please stop! I'm sorry for whatever it was I did wrong!" Nanoha pleaded desperately, her tears freely rolling down her cheeks. "Just tell me what I did wrong, I'll fix it! Please Yuuno-kun, just stop!"

Yuuno's frown deepened, his raised hand was brought down upon Nanoha, causing the girl to slam her body against the locker once more. "You said you'd call me before you got to school, but you didn't! Were you with someone else?" he lashed out. "Heh yeah, I bet you were… tell me his name right now!"

"There's no one else but you, Yuuno-kun! You're the only one for me!"

"Lies! All lies!" He brought his hand up once again and struck her cheek, the force of his hand caused her to fall to the ground; the tears running down her cheeks pooled at the dusty tile beneath her. I trembled as I continued to watch her writhe in pain, his voice booming with every accusation he threw at her. "What's his name, Nanoha!?"

"I'm telling you, there's no one!"

"Answer me straight!"

Nanoha's stifled screams continued as she tried to snap him out of his enraged state. "Yuuno-kun, you're drunk! You don't know what you're saying!" Nanoha curled up into a ball and covered her head as Yuuno brought his foot down upon her. "Y-Yuuno, you promised you wouldn't do this again!"

He knelt down and grabbed a fist full of her hair, eliciting a muffled yelp from Nanoha as she looked up at him. He stood back up and forced her to her knees as he gave her hair another firm yank. I could only imagine the fear she felt as he looked down at her with malicious intent. I wanted to run over there and hold her in my arms protect her. I wanted to march over there and beat the crap out of her so called 'boyfriend', and do a victory dance when he begs for her to come back—hm, why am I still watching this bullshit!?

"Y-Yuuno-kun… please s-stop… you're hurting me…" Nanoha whimpered.

"I'll stop when you tell his name!"

"And I'm telling you there's no one!"

He hit her again and shouted, "Why are you trying to defend him, huh? Is he that good in bed? Should I teach you a lesson, hm?" Yuuno steeled his eyes and leaned over her. "One night with me and I'll make you completely forget about that bastard."

"Y-Yuuno-kun, please you aren't thinking clearly!"

"Just tell me his fucking name, now!"

Something within me had snapped and before I could grasp hold of my senses, I was seeing red. That was the final straw, he had gone too far and now I was angry. _No one_ touches _my_ Nanoha… _no one_.

"Hey ferret face," I shouted out to him, "do you feel like a man when you push her around!?"

Yuuno's emerald green eyes shot towards me, a mixture of surprise and fear was evident within his focused gaze. "Mind your own business," He ordered me, "this is between me and her. Butt out!"

"How about _no_? I've got a cell-phone and I ain't afraid to use it, bitch." I pulled out my cherry-red mobile phone and flipped it open, my thumb hovering over the number one. "Now let Nanoha go before I call the cops."

"Don't tell me how to treat _my_ girlfriend." Yuuno snapped. I visibly cringed when I saw his grip on Nanoha's hair tighten. "Walk away now before I have to deal with you… personally."

"And 'personally', I don't think your wimpy ass can even scuff my shoe." I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, was this guy trying to threaten me? Yuuno bared his teeth at me and dropped Nanoha, his face contorted in anger and hate towards me. "You probably feel so kickass just because you can push a little girl around."

"F-Fate-chan, I'm not a little girl…" I heard Nanoha mumble in a meek voice. I looked passed the ferret and saw her cheeks bright red, and it wasn't because he hit her, it was because she saw me standing up for her. I'm sure of it. She slowly got up, using the locker for support and smiled at me. "You should get going to class, Fate-chan. Don't worry about me, I'm fine." The weak smile on her face told me a different story. She wouldn't be fine; in fact I bet he'd keep hitting her if I left. No, I had to stay put and protect her. I _need_ to know that she was safe.

I pushed passed the skinny rat, discretely back handing him on 'accident', and rushed over to Nanoha's side. My arms instantly wrapping around her delicate frame, she shuddered when I brought her body close to mine in a tight embrace. I rested my cheek on her forehead and held her even tighter; in return she slowly wrapped her own arms around my waist and drew herself closer. I heard Yuuno growl in a territorial jealousy, but I couldn't care less, I _had_ to protect her.

"Get your slutty paws off of my girlfriend you two-bit hooker!" Yuuno roared as he stomped over to us. Acting on instinct I jabbed him in the gut with my elbow as hard as I could; he quickly keeled over in pain and groaned. Nanoha gasped out in surprised and tried to reach out to him, but I stopped her just before her hand could graze a single strand of his hair.

She struggled against me and pleaded for me to let her go, but I stayed resilient and held her tighter. Eventually her defences gave way, and all the adrenalin she had pent up within her dissipated causing her to calm back down. I gathered Nanoha up and helped her stand, she was a little wobbly, but quickly found her bearings when I propped her up against the locker for extra support. Nanoha nodded her head and placed a bit of distance between us.

"Come on baby, let's get you outta here." I whispered into her ear. "I'll take you to the nurse's office, and then I'll take you home." I took a quick glance over at the blonde haired man on the ground kneeling and sighed, "Now what we do _after_ I get you home is a whole different matter."

"N-Nyaha… ha, Fate-chan… _no_."

I placed a soft kiss on her forehead and smiled at her hoping for some sort of affectionate gesture in return. Instead she awkwardly smiled back at me, but her dimple brought my focus from her wavering violet-blue eyes over to the deep, red hand imprint on her cheek. I reached out and placed my palm over it causing her to flinch, but she kept on smiling at me. The heat radiating off of the bruise seared through my leather glove and transcended straight to my heart. I moved too slowly, had I only been braver, stronger I could've stopped his hand and saved her from the physical trauma.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get here, Nanoha…" I apologize.

"What are you talking about?" she asked me curiously, her eyebrow quirked as she leaned into my touch, the spike on my wrist band poking at her chin. I couldn't ignore the quick glances she sent towards him; it made me rather jealous to be honest. I wanted her eyes transfixed upon my own, never to look away. Only I deserved to dwell within those deep navy pools.

"If I only got kicked out of class faster, I could've been by your side sooner."

"You… got kicked out of… class?"

I faked a cough and looked down the hallway towards the nurse's office; I shot Nanoha an awkward grin and said, "Let's go get some ice for that bruise."

"Mou, don't change the subject!" she complained, her balled fist bopping me on the head.

I was starting to see my Nanoha break through the fear she was shrouded in. It felt good to hear her voice, but her eyes kept darting back and forth between me and Yuuno. I could tell right away that Nanoha was stuck between me and him, between love and fear. We could walk away now, get away from him while he was still out, but she refused to move. Why?

The quiet rustling of designer clothes caught my attention, but the sound of a low, raspy voice sent chills up my spine. I looked to the ground and saw Yuuno slowly get up; he tumbled forward but quickly caught himself and stared up at me. I never noticed it until now, but he was almost as tall as I was.

"You better not be forgetting about me," he menacingly growled, eyes narrowing to dangerous slits. His left hand slammed against the grey locker, while his right clutched his stomach. "Nanoha, get over here now and I'll forget this little stunt of yours ever happened." But Nanoha took a step forward and looked up at me as if I had the answer, and as much as I wish I did have the answer she was looking for, I don't think it could wipe away all of her fears. Tilting his head to the left, Yuuno motioned for her to come to him. "Come here right now… before I get mad."

Taking Nanoha's silence as her answer, I gently nudged her to go behind me as I stood firmly before her boyfriend with a grim expression on my face. She wanted to go back to him…

"The lady said no." I said firmly. I felt Nanoha try to tug her hand away from mine, but I pulled her back to my side. "Now before_ I_ get angry, you'll leave both the school _and_ Nanoha for good."

"You can't tell me what to do…" he snarled.

"Well I'll tell you my friend," I smirked, "this world's going to end one day, and when that day comes you'll see just how worthless you really are." Nanoha pulled her hand free and began to walk towards him, but I stopped her dead in her tracks and pulled her back to me.

"Fate-chan, let go of me!" Nanoha commanded.

I shot Nanoha a silencing stare before turning my attention back at her abuser. "You seem like the kind of guy that's smooth with his words and even smoother when it comes to body hair, but I'll let you in on a little something."

"Hn."

"A girl needs more than petty words of endearment to be happy," I told him with a pseudo smile playing on my lips. "They need careful attention and treatment."

"Oh really?" he said with a smug look on his face.

"Yes really, and I hope those bug-eyed glasses of yours are prescription lenses, because if they are…" I allowed my words to trail off as I kissed Nanoha on the lips; she flailed around and even fought back, but she quickly melted and hesitantly returned the kiss. The sensation sent my heart soaring, yet when I thought back to the kiss from this morning I could taste the difference. She didn't want this, so regretfully I said "I think you'll need to get a new pair" as I pulled away from her. My feelings were hurt.

"You…" Yuuno stared at us in bewilderment. I saw him tremble for a moment before he steeled his resolve. Nanoha saw the look in his eyes and huddled in closer to me on reflex, I placed yet another kiss on her forehead to calm her down, but that did her no good. She was scared shitless of him. "You're the one she's cheating on me with, aren't you?"

I chuckled at him and grinned, "Define 'cheating'."

"Nanoha, what the fuck is going on here!?" he roared. The (partially) innocent girl in my arms shuddered and buried her head into my arm. "Nanoha, tell me what the hell is going on between you two right now!"

"Luckily for you, and not so lucky for me, Nanoha and I are nothing more than just friends… with a few benefits." I informed him with a sultry gaze; Nanoha turned a bright crimson and jumped away from me. The startled look on her face hurt me deep, that odd look was her way of telling me it wasn't that way (even though it was). She turned to look at him and tried to explain the situation, but the way his hands trembled caused her to stumble back and hide behind me. He turned the funniest shade of red before erupting into a fit of violent accusations. I laughed at his ramblings and decided I should save Nanoha from the embarrassment before she blew up. "I can only imagine the ridiculous things running inside of your head." I said with a shrug. Yuuno didn't seem to believe me and continued to ramble on.

"Fate-chan, stop it. Don't make him any madder." Nanoha told me with a stamp of her foot. I was taken aback by her words, I asked her about it and all she could muster was a quiet 'leave him be' before running back to his side.

I stood there flabbergasted and insulted; she just brushed me off like I was a fly on her shoulder. "Nanoha," I whispered with a curious look, "what are you doing?"

"I'm going to go see if _my_ boyfriend is okay, is that a problem?" she replied courtly.

There was so many things wrong with this picture, and yet there was nothing I could do to rectify it. I, Fate Testarossa, was useless. I looked up at Nanoha's abuser and watched him apologize to her, and pile on the lies while she ate it all up. I felt sick to my stomach watching them; this whole fight was fucking pointless.

Fucking pointless.

"God damn," I sighed with my eyes closed. 'I can't believe you're this stupid, I just can't believe it.'

"Are you sure you're okay, Yuuno-kun?" Nanoha asked him with a genuine look of concern. She looked up at him with one arm wrapped around his waist while her free hand touched his cheek, the place I had 'secretly' slapped him became more apparent than I had hoped. "I'm sorry about Fate-chan, she means well… oh and sorry for accusing you of drinking, I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

"No, I'm the one that should be sorry. I came here in a huff, I'm sorry I hit you, Nanoha." He whispered in a low husky voice.

He gave the delusional girl in his arms a bear hug and placed a kiss on top of her head. I saw his lips move, but I couldn't hear a word he said, and it was this lack of information that made me nervous. It's just a shame Nanoha had the audacity to confirm my fears.

"I love you too, Yuuno-kun."

A boyish grin appeared on his face as he said, "So there really isn't anyone else, right?" Nanoha shook her head and gave him an affirming hug.

So inevitably, like a sore loser, I threw a hissy fit because I had lost. "Well fuck this bullshit, I'm out of here!" I proclaimed with my arms crossed. I hid my emotions under a crumbling façade, and Nanoha probably knew that. She could've also seen that I was close to tears, but then again, I've been wrong before.

Nanoha called out to me, hell she even tried to chase after me, but a small shriek told me that he had pulled her back by the hair again. I know that it was her own damned fault, but hearing that tiny cry made me want to turn around and beat the crap out of him. I didn't of course; she'd probably defend him and call the cops on me for assaulting a citizen. The farther away I got from her the better, because Nanoha was the only girl that could make me break down and cry.

"Stupid Nanoha, stupid ferret face… stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!" I chanted meticulously. Just imaging his smug face made me want to kick a puppy! Why did such an asshole get to have such an amazing girlfriend? Tell me, why!?

The sound of the class ending bell caused me to jump up in surprise. I had been so lost in thought that I had wandered all the way over to the first floor of the school, you can only guess how ecstatic the first years where when they saw me wandering around without adult supervision. A few squealed in glee, others screamed in horror, while quite a lot sighed in envy of whoever it was I dragged to bed with me. They all crowded together and watched me curiously; all of them making sure not to go anywhere near me. To some I must've looked like a black panther prowling the lower jungle in search for prey, while others just thought I was down here to look for my latest victim. Same thing really.

I always wondered why the first years thought I was some crazy lesbian vampire. I guess it was due to my red eyes and blonde hair, plus the clothes I wore weren't exactly considered to be 'normal' clothes either. I wore a lot of ornamental crosses too, but no one ever seems to notice them; however, I have yet figured out where the 'lesbian' aspect of my title sprouted from. I haven't even started dating, and yet I've already been pegged as a muff-muncher. I also know that I didn't exactly fit the eighteen year old foreigner bill, so they all whisper on about why an 'adult' was still in high school. The ones brave enough to speak to me often asked what I was doing here, this was followed by a swift question regarding my sexual orientation, and finally ending with some random question. I'd normally just shrug and say that I don't know, but sometimes I like to fuck with them and say: "I'm here to look for my eternal queen, the one who will rule with me in my underground kingdom." That usually shuts them up for good and leave me alone for a while, but there are a few who were daft enough to actually believe it and pursue the… occupation.

All this unwarranted attention from the first years sent chills up my spine. If I was out having lunch with my friends, they'd hide around the bushes and just watch me, and sometimes they would photograph and film me while I ate. They'd all probably shit a brick out if they ever caught me eating my favourite food: garlic bread. Yep, the legendary lesbian vampire of Uminari High liked eating garlic bread.

"What brings you down here, Fate?" a familiar voice calls out to me. I looked over the heads of the eager first years and spotted the vibrant orange that could only belong to my good friend, Tiana Lanster. "Hey move it, buddy!" she growled as she pushed passed her peers. "I said move it!"

"Haha, you're so violent, Tiana." I say to her with a grin on my face.

"Shut up, Fate Testosterone."

"Low blow, Tia." I feigned a hurt expression and sniffled as the busty girl made her way towards me.

Tiana's eyebrows furrowed together as she examined me. She always did this whenever we met up; it was like she was double checking to see if I was hiding my crazy cousin Hayate behind my back. "What are you doing down here?" she asked me as she walked behind me and tugged on my hair.

"I don't know really," I replied with an uncertain tone. "I was actually just mindlessly wandering around."

"Without a hall pass?"

"Do you know of a teacher in this school that has the balls to walk up to me and say I have detention?"

"N-No, not really."

Draping my arm over her shoulders, I pulled Tiana close to me. "Come on, let's ditch this place." I whispered into her ear. She nodded her head wordlessly and held the hand I had on her shoulder.

"I'm bored of school for the day; let's just head back to my place." She told me as she walked closer to me.

"Hn."

The students we walked by all watched us with large hopeful eyes. They seemed so fascinated with the minimal gesture of intimacy Tiana and I flaunted out freely, of course what they don't know is that it was all an act. This was just something we did to keep people from hitting on us, and it was one hell of a laugh when rumours begin to spread. The latest rumour involved Tiana and I fornicating in the nurse's office—never mind that one was partially true. Just like how things between me and Nanoha are, Tiana and I were nothing more than just friends, but when we get drunk is a whole other story. Of course I'd never consciously lay a hand on her… Nanoha was the only for me.


	4. Chapter 4

**xYuki**: This chapter didn't go as well as I had hoped it would, that's why it took so long for me to post it. I did, however, thoroughly enjoyed writing the beginning of it, but when we get near the end of the chapter the quality just sank. So please forgive me for that and please enjoy Hayate's first appearance.

I love her in the beginning, so sweet and loving.

**P.s**: This is the first chapter in Face Down that's long enough to actually require page breaks. Yay for 9.2(almost .3)k words.

Oh and please forgive me for the errors here. I've been busy helping my wife keep our daughters from clawing out each others' eyes, building a tree house with my friend (and failing at it. Yay for idiots in a tree). I posted this chapter at 5:30am, so yeah... I'll come back later and fix it when I have time.

* * *

_A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect  
Every action in this world will bear a consequence  
If you wade around forever, you will surely drown  
I see what's going down.

* * *

_

The wind picked up around me causing my hair to billow along with it. The crisp spring air, coupled with the refreshing smell of the salty sea, brought tears to my eyes. It's been about week or two since my not so dashing attempt at being a hero occurred. The event still played out in my dreams in vivid high definition color and sound, in other words… I've been living in hell since then. Nanoha and I haven't spoken since the incident nor do I intent to bridge the gap between us and say "hi" and move on. It hurt too much to think she'd go back to that abusive bastard instead of be with me. What was wrong with me? Minus the drinking, smoking, declining school grades, criminal record (I got into quite a few fights), I was the perfect candidate for her. Hm, on second thought… maybe not.

A sudden 'squawk' beside me caused me to jump back and fall on my bottom; a random seagull had taken the spot on the bridge railing beside me. Deciding that the bird just wanted to keep me company, I got up and dusted myself off and moved back to the railing, but just like how I was wrong about Nanoha, I was wrong about the bird. A flurry of dirty white and off-grey clouded my vision before a sudden weight on my head caused me to tumble down once again.

"Son of a bitch!" I growled as I recovered from the fall. My sexy, little round behind was starting to get sore and so were my hands. "Where are ya', you diseased vermin!" I roared flailing my arms about. I didn't bother looked up until a bright yellow beak poked my nose and beady, little onyx eyes stared back at me, my reflection depicting a reaction I can describe only as a 'what-the-fuck' moment. That fucking bird had the balls to hunker down on my head and dig its filthy little feet into my hair!

"Fuck you bird!"

"Squawk!"

"…" I jumped around, ran a few steps ahead and pointed my finger at the spot where I had stood with a victorious grin, but the stupid bird followed me and… "God damn…" The bird let out a mighty 'squawk' and landed on my head once more causing me to fall yet… again.

Half an hour of running around like an idiot trying to get rid of the bird and failing tired me out. The feathered mongrel refused to leave me be and opted to get comfy on my head. I was too tired to protest, so I let the ugly bastard sit there and pray he'd get bored eventually and leave me be, or at least refrain from pooping on my head.

"I'm stuck with you aren't I?" I grumbled at the bird.

"Squawk!"

Shrugging my shoulders plucking out a stray feather from my hair, I returned to my former position leaning on the railings. It was kind of relaxing having him on my head, the way his webbed feet and talons wiggled on my scalp felt kinda nice. Strange I know, but hey, having some company was better than having no company, right?

"So birdie, now that I'm stuck with you, what should I call you?"

"Squawk!"

I quirked an eyebrow and gave the bird a pat on the head, and surprisingly enough he leaned into the touch. I expected him to be kind of hard and smooth, but I was completely wrong. He was soft and fluffy… sort of squishy.

"Aha, I got it!" I beamed. "From this day forward your name shall be Squishy, and you shall be my squishy."

"Squawk!"

"Ahaha, you're a man of few words aren't ya', Squishy?" I asked the bird on my head. He lowered his head and pecked me between the eyes. "Ouch!"

"Squawk!"

"Well squawk-squawk to you too asshole."

"Squa—" Squishy's head shot straight up, his talons digging deeper into my scalp. I felt him wiggle uncomfortable on my head; I figured something had spooked him. An awkward silence wafted around us after that, only the sound of the water lapping up onto the shore and the random dings and dongs of the ships nearby could be heard.

"Fate-chan… what's with the bird?" My cousin's voice broke through the silence and rejuvenated the area.

I looked over to her with a languid smile and motioned her over to me. "His name's squishy," I told her as I poked him in the underbelly. He squawked at me and pecked me in between the eyes again to show his anger. "God damnit, ow!"

"Hehe," my cousin giggled. "Squishy here sure knows how to put you in your place, Fate-chan. But what an odd name for a bird."

"Shut up, Hayate!" I roared at her with a playful grin. I noticed she had two steaming paper cups in her wooly-mittened hands. "Anyways, what's with the coffee?"

Hayate stood up straight and relaxed as she got comfortable with the situation again. "I got off work about an hour ago and went down to your house so you could help me with my homework, but your mom told me that you weren't home… then she slammed the door in my face. I figured you would be down here since this is your 'special place' to come and think." Shuffling her feet anxiously, I noticed Hayate's face redden as she continued her story. "I thought I'd track you down and keep you company till you felt better. Is… that okay with you?" she asked me with hesitation in her voice. I patted the spot beside me with an inviting tilt of my head. She bounded over to me without a second thought and offered one of the cups, but she scooted away from me when a leering Squishy lowered his head and aimed his beak at her. "Fate-chan, he won't attack or poop on me will he?"

"He'll probably poop on me not you, so don't worry about it." I replied snatching the caffeinated drink away from my cousin and popping the annoying plastic lid off of the cup. The steam rose up to my nose and I gingerly sniffed it, it had a nice rich aroma, very strong, very bold. "You didn't make this right?"

"And what's that supposed to mean exactly?"

I winked at her and took a tentative sip of the steamy beverage. "Just because you work at a cafe, doesn't mean you know _how_ to make coffee… or boiled water for a matter of fact."

"Haha, very funny, Fate-chan!" Hayate shouted with her rosy cheeks puffed out. "I've been working there for a while now; I can make coffee just fine! At least I make it better than Nanoha-chan does that's for sure."

I looked down at the black liquid and watched it ripple along with my shivers. A tiny smile tugged at the corner of my lips when I recalled one of Nanoha's recent coffee accidents. She flooded the kitchen and her parents go so mad she was sent to our house for the week. Luckily mother didn't care, as long as Alicia and I had dinner prepared on time. "Y-Yea… anyways, it tastes just fine." I took another sip and allowed the warm liquid travel down my oesophagus. "Needs more sugar though."

Hayate sniffled and shuffled closer to me. She then rested her head on my shoulder and let out a content sigh. "I like it when it's just you and me like this, watching the sea as the sun goes down. It's so romantic."

"Squawk!"

"Haha, you're forgetting about poor Squishy here." I said with a dry laugh. "He hasn't left _yet_."

"You're right," Hayate smiled, "sorry about that, Squishy."

I watched my cousin from the corner of my eye and gritted my teeth as I suppressed the fluttering sensation within my chest. She looked adorable from this position with her little red poof-ball toque, hand knitted scarf, and rosy cheeks from the cold. She was a small girl in stature; she was just tall enough to reach half way up my cleavage (which was her favourite spot on my body by the way). Whenever she spotted me, she'd immediately run over and bury her head there and just cling till Nanoha, or someone nearby, pulled her away. I think she'd be a bit taller if it weren't for her weak constitution. She was sick for most of her life, in fact she was wheelchair bound till about a year ago.

You see back when we were kids the doctors told us that she was losing the will to live because of her manic depression, but her immediate family and I knew that she was feeling this way because she was lonely. So I figured myself as some sort of hero and spent as much time with her as I could, and eventually my hard work paid off when she started perking up. Her mother was so surprised at Hayate's sudden improvement she suggested she go to school with me, because she believed I was the cause of the miraculous recovery. I was ecstatic when I was told Hayate would always be with me, but that joy was snatched away from me when she made new friends the very first day. With so many new friends and people around her, Hayate quickly gained the strength she needed to form a new will to live, while she slowly forgot about me somewhere down the road. I know that she didn't mean to do that to me; she actually blamed herself for my current state of being, so she's spending as much time with me as she could as atonement for her abandonment.

"Fate-chan, are you okay? You're looking at me all funny like." Hayate mumbled with a blush. I looked away shyly, but she whispered a quiet "don't look away" before I could coherently apologize for staring at her.

The wind blew past us causing her to duck in cover and huddle in closer to me. I felt rather embarrassed by it, but I blushed when she got closer. By now it's pretty obvious that I have feelings for my cousin, I know that this was sick and wrong, but she was my first love.

Her cheek was right against mine; it was soft and cool to the touch. I could smell her hair as the wind blew towards me causing some of her short locks of hair to drift over to my nose. It was a sweet, fruity smell that tingled the senses. I couldn't really pinpoint it since it seemed to be a mix between strawberries and something citrusy. It was just one of those smells that could catch your attention the moment it made itself apparent; however, it did suit her perfectly. It defined Yagami Hayate: spunky yet subtle.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I maundered my right arm around her. She stiffened up momentarily, but melting into my embrace when I ushered her to stand in front of me. I might not be able to protect her from much, but I can at least protect her from the cold.

"You're right, this is nice." I whispered in content.

"Yeah it is."

"Squawk, squawk…"

"Haha, I think Squishy's agreeing with us." Hayate said in glee.

I sighed and nodded my head, "I think so too."

Taking another quick glance at the older girl in my arms, I noticed the stray strand of chocolate-brown hair dangling in a precarious position. That loose hair would eventually poke her in the eye, and knowing Hayate she'd make a big deal over it, so I casually tucked it behind her hair and looked away when she turned to look up at me.

"Thank you…" she shyly mumbled.

"Y-You're welcome…"

"I love you, Fate-chan~"

Her sudden declaration startled me causing my hand to jerk away and push my almost empty coffee cup into the water below us. "H-Hayate! Don't say something so sudden like that! Jeez, you almost gave me a heart attack."

"What's wrong with me saying 'I love you' to my favourite cousin, is there?"

"N-Nothing!"

Hayate poked my cheek and prodded at the situation with one of her follow up questions. "Why was my Fatey-Watey so flustered when I said 'I love you'?" Hayate gasped out in surprise, "Oh em gee, maybe you are in love with me!"

"W-What!? Shut up! You're crazy, and stop with the rhyming!"

"Fate-baby, you're redder than a watermelon~"

"Watermelons are green you retard."

"Nu-uh, you just have to cut them up." Hayate chuckled as she corrected me. "Then they're moist and juicy~"

I gave her a wry grin and bumped heads with her. "I'm not in love with you, you sill raccoon-dog."

Hayate's smile faded faster than you can say 'heartbroken'. She turned herself around and looked up at me, her crystal clear blue eyes darkened as she looked at me with a half lidded gaze. I felt her hands grip onto my jacket as she stood up on her tiptoes.

"H-Haya—"

She had kissed me square on the lips and I was more than eager to respond. The kiss was teasingly good, but it wasn't anything like the ones I've had with Nanoha when she was in one of her friskier moods. Hayate was a good kisser, I'll give her that, but the kiss felt like she didn't want to do it. I tried to break away, but she pulled me back, even Squishy was startled by Hayate's sudden advance. The sound of something dropping and spilling caught my attention briefly, but the taste of Hayate's kiss was just far too inviting for me to want to ever stop. I figured that we just dropped our coffee, not much of a loss really.

"Squawk, squawk!" Squishy yelped, his wings flapping about while his feet stamped on my head. "Squawk, squawk!" He was acting just like that when Hayate appeared, so you can only guess my surprise when I saw Nanoha watching us with wide eyes and spilt coffee pooling around her feet.

I pushed Hayate away from me and took a few steps away from her. Nanoha stood there motionless with a shocked expression on her face. Her hands were frozen in the same position for the longest time, I thought rigor mortis had set in.

"Nanoha-chan, what are you doing here?" Hayate asked in disdain.

"I-I…"

"Well…?"

"I-I…"

I tried to walk over to her, but each step I took caused her to take another one back. "Nanoha, it isn't what you think…"

"I-I… I got to go." Nanoha quickly turned around and dashed off, her off-centered ponytail bobbing behind her.

Watching Nanoha fleeing from the scene prompted me to chase after her, but before I could even move an inch further Hayate had pulled me back to her. I tried to pull away from her, but the hold she had around me was too strong, too inviting. I was losing the strength to struggle and chase after the girl I loved.

Hayate's head buried itself into the crook of my spine, and the embrace she locked me in was beginning to hurt. A soft, ragged voice spoke up saying, "No, don't go. Don't leave me."

I stopped my struggling and let my arms drop to my sides. Something inside of me had broken at that moment. Hayate's stifled sobs had wrapped a choke chain around my heart and tugged at it. She had somehow managed to ensnare my former affections for her and forced them to resurface.

"Don't go, please… I can't take this pain anymore. I can't watch you hurt yourself over Nanoha-chan anymore." Hayate pulled away from me and took my hand as she looked at me straight in the eyes. "Fate-chan will always belong to me."

"Hayate…"

"Please…"

"I," Pausing momentarily, I looked back and couldn't see Nanoha anymore. "Okay."

Hayate drew me back into a tight embrace; her little mittened hands clung onto my jacket with a fierce grip. She nuzzled her head on my chest and sighed in content, the poof-ball on her hat tickling my cheek, but I couldn't shake the feeling like something was off about the situation.

"Squa-wak, squawk!"

Both Hayate and I looked up at the orange sky and realized that during our small scuffle, Squishy had been knocked off of my head forcing him to circle around us. He kept berating us with this angry cawing noise; I guess this was his way of saying "Squishy is not amused!"

"I think he really likes you, Fate." Hayate said in a somewhat taunting voice.

I shrugged at her and said, "I think so too."

"Squawk, squawk!"

"You're mom's going to kill you if you take him back with you."

"She doesn't have to know what she doesn't need to know."

"Squawk?"

~*すてき*~

Hayate and I walked together quietly, our joined hands tucked away safely in my jacket pocket. It had gotten significantly darker than when we left, and with the start of night fall, the cold air began to roll in. The wind blew and billowed about causing Hayate to shiver violently and walk closer to me; her free hand tugging down on her woolly hat to keep it from flying away. I couldn't bear to look at her and she couldn't bear to look at me, this whole thing was still a little weird to the both of us, but it was a rather nice and homely sensation.

We weren't the only ones walking on the sidewalk, so we often had to manoeuvre around the other pedestrians. The awkward thing about walking on such a busy street was having people look at us when we walked by them. It was like they saw us as some sort of sideshow instead of two kids just walking home and huddling close together to stay warm. I summoned up the courage to take a peek at my new girlfriend and saw that she looking away with a deep blush on her face, probably just as self-conscious as I was.

"I can let go if you want?" I mildly suggested.

Hayate looked up at me and shook her head, "No, it's okay, I like holding Fate's hand… it's warm." The timid little smile she had on her face, coupled with the heavy blush tinting her cheeks, Hayate looked adorable.

"Alright, if you say so."

"Un."

The initial awkwardness began to fade when Hayate and I struck a conversation. She had asked me about my band and the music we played, as well as the different live shows we've played at. I'm ashamed to say that I obsess about my band, and I'd blabber on nonstop whenever I got a chance to speak about them.

"We call ourselves 'Overturned' and there's actually a really funny story about how we chose that name." I explained to Hayate who looked riveted by the story I was about to tell. "Originally we called ourselves 'Juvenile' because we all had criminal records. I was busted for street fighting one night, but it was their fault for coming up to me. Tiana Lanster, our bassist, got booked for wielding her brother's firearm. It wasn't even real, but she somehow managed to beat the shit out of someone with it."

"Wouldn't she just have to throw it or hit him?" Hayate asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"You would think that, but Tiana can do some pretty freaky stuff when she's got something gun-like in her hands." I shrugged my shoulder and gave the small hand tucked within my own a squeeze. "Anyways, next is our drummer, Vice Granscenic, he got arrested for looking up girls' skirts amongst other things."

"Ah, finally a man after my own heart."

Shooting Hayate a wry grin I said, "You have no idea…"

"So we've got you, the bassist, and the drummer. Who else is there?"

"Well we've got our keyboardist, Nakajima Gi—"

"Gingin-chan?" Hayate gasped out in surprise. I chuckled at her expression and nodded my head. "But she's a good girl, very smart, very sweet. She's in the student council with me and Nanoha-chan, though she's often missing meetings becau—oh, it's your fault."

"Haha, sorry?"

"Guess she isn't that much of a good girl after all," Hayate giggled. "So what did she get arrested for?"

"Oh no, she never got arrested before, she just enjoys our company." I clarified, the odd look Hayate sent me told me exactly what she was thinking. "Strange, I know. Who'd want to hang out with a bunch of losers like us, huh?"

"Well, I wouldn't mind hanging out with you and your band. You guys seem like loads of fun."

My body went ridged when those words left Hayate's lips. "No. No, you're not allowed to. I absolutely forbid it!"

"W-What, what!?" Hayate asked me with an irked expression on her face. I didn't know how to explain it without making her sound like a wimp. "Why, Fate?"

"W-Well… y'see… I—err…"

"Spit it out, Fate… why can't I hang out with you and your band?" Hayate pulled her hand away from mine and stood in front of me. Her eyes told me to tell her everything or else there would be hell to pay. I dug deep within myself and tried to pick out the words that could describe the situation best, but everything I thought up was just going to get her madder than she already was. We just began going out; I didn't want it to end before it even got started. "Fate, just tell me…"

"It's because I don't want you to get influenced by us…"

"Huh?"

I looked around and grit my teeth, I hated having to explain the things we did, and it was just hard to acknowledge the fact that we all had some sort of problem. Scratching the back of my head nervously, I looked at Hayate through my bangs and sighed.

"We're bad kids, Hayate. We drink and smoke at our gatherings—yes, even the Saint Ginga when she's stressed out, and that's pretty often. I don't want you to think of any of us any lower than most people do." I took a deep breath and approached Hayate cautiously. "Hayate, I know I don't look the part, but I'm actually really scared of what you'll think or say once you see me acting that way."

"Fate…"

"We get out of control at times; we even do a few hits of cocaine once in a blue moon."

"Even Gingin-chan?"

"No, she draws the line at drinking and smoking. She'd never go near the stuff, actually she stays and around and laughs at us when we trip out. Once she brought a toy spider and threw it at us when we were all high."

"Yep, that sounds like her."

I chuckled and offered Hayate my hand. "I know right?"

"Un, so why exactly can't I come hang out with you and your band?" she murmured just before accepting my hand. "I really don't see a feasible reason why not."

I pulled her closer and enveloped myself with her alluring scent. "Because I don't want them to try and take you away from me while I'm inhibited."

"Oh big word, but okay, I understand…" Hayate returned the hug and took her place back by my side again. "So far you've only told me about the bassist, the drummer, and the keyboardist. What about the guitars and singers?"

"Our lead guitarist is none other than Subaru Nakajima, y'know Ginga's little sister, she got arrested for mild vigilantism."

"That doesn't seem so bad."

"You would think so, but that girl was running around wearing some weird costume screaming out 'DIVINE BUSTER' and punching the shit out of the druggies at strange hours of the night…" I face palmed at the embarrassing memory. "Ginga was so embarrassed she locked herself in the closet."

"So I guess this means Gingin-chan came of the closet?"

"Oh how mature, Hayate."

"Why thank you."

Wrapping my arm around Hayate's shoulder, I realized something. I was enjoying this. I enjoyed being with Hayate and that it didn't hurt. She was funny and sweet, and the way she focuses only on me eased my trouble heart… first love really was the sweetest of all loves.

"Well that's pretty much it."

Hayate shook her head and tapped me on the nose. "Nu-uh, you forgot to mention what you did for the band."

"I handle rhythm guitar, vocals, and song writing."

"That's sexy." The smile Hayate had on her face slowly turned upside down as a guilt stricken expression washed over her. "Wow, just wow… I can't believe how much of your life I've missed out, while you've been there for me through everything."

"Of course I was there, we're cousins."

Hayate shook her head once more and silenced me with a kiss. We stood there for what felt like forever, feigning ignorance to the disgusted and mortified stared of those around us. It was bliss.

"I kinda liked that…"

"I did too…"

Looking into the older girl's eyes made my heart soar, I felt like I finally found a home to call my own. "Hayate, is this wrong?"

"Hm, what is?" she asked as we continued to walk.

"I mean… _us_. Is this wrong? We are cousins after all..."

The surprised look on Hayate's face was priceless, but when she began to laugh out loud I thought I was missing something from the big picture. "Silly Fate, we're second cousins. Sure we're related, but barely."

"Really?"

"Yep. I think I'm actually more related to your crazy mother than I am to you."

"So there isn't anything wrong if I asked whether or not you're free this Saturday?" Honestly, I felt a little nervous about asking Hayate such a question. Was I being too forward or was I just over thinking things? Either way, I wanted to hide under a rock and never come back out. It's been forever since I've asked anyone out for a date; I think I might be a little rusty.

"Ehh, sorry. I'm busy that day… maybe next time?"

"U-Uh sure!" A nervous laugh rumbled through my throat as I tried to will down the heated blush on my cheeks. "But do you mind if I ask what you're doing? Maybe we can still go see a movie and have dinner after whatever it is your doing."

"I dunno," Hayate shrugged her shoulders. "I have a date with my new girlfriend that day, so I don't think I should hang out with my cousin…"

"You bitch."

The gleeful expression Hayate held was breathtakingly beautiful. "Hey I can make you my bitch any day, Fate. I'm actually quite dominant."

"Please tell me that you aren't a dominatrix… _please_…"

"Is that bad?"

I scooted away from her and sighed, "You're joking right?"

"Maybe~"

"Seriously?"

Then Hayate got serious, "Do you want to find out?"

"W-What!?" The look she had on her face was as scary as the face Nanoha had on when Hayate stole her panties and wore them on her head. No, this face was much worse. "What did I get myself into?"

"I wouldn't mind putting you in your place." The seductive allure lacing Hayate's words caused my mouth to go try. She reached up and placed her index finger on my jaw and traced it, then brought it down and trailed the crevasse between my breasts in a slow tempting manner. "I'd whip you into shape and make you cry my name out."

"H-Hayate, you're scaring me…"

"Maybe I should call Nanoha-chan and make her watch, you'd like that wouldn't you?"

"Hayate, stop it. You're freaking me out."

"And I won't stop until you beg for mercy and call me 'Daddy'."

That was the final straw. Hayate and I looked at each other with serious faces, but as the time ticked on our strong facades crumbled down and we burst out into laughter as we continued on our way.

"Fate, you never did tell me why you guys changed your band named to 'Overturned'."

"Simply put… our gig van flipped over when Tia parked it in a ditch."

"Was she—?"

"Sober. Completely sober."

~*すばらしい*~

I trudged through the hallways of my school with my hoodie up and my headphones over them. The hood acted as a buffer for the loud music, but even with my music up so loud… I still couldn't ignore the sound of my heart pounding.

It's been like this for about a week now, at least from what I recall. Nanoha hasn't spoken to me or even looked at me since she caught Hayate kissing me. She hasn't even stopped by my house to pick up Alicia, so the walk to school has been pretty bland. Every day since Nanoha stopped showing up became a drag. The walks with my twin were so annoying I decided to just drive the idiot to school and dash off the moment she got off of my motorcycle.

As much as I love scaring the living shit out of my twin when I drove, I couldn't deny the nagging feeling in the back of my mind. I knew something was out of place, and I knew that 'thing' was Nanoha. Without her loving presence around me the music refused to flow. My music sheets were a dreary white and the words I used to be able to eloquently jot down became cheesy and corny. For once in my not so average life, I acted like your regular lovesick teenager…

Even though I was with Hayate now, I still couldn't shake the feelings I had for Nanoha. Every waking making moment was filled with guilt and wonder. Was Nanoha jealous of Hayate and me? Did she miss me? Was she okay and is Yuuno still hitting her? So many questions, so little answers, yet so much time to think about them. I really like being with Hayate, she makes me happy. My world was starting to spin out of control and all I can really do is wait and find out if it'll keep spinning or slowly come to a stop.

Hayate's classroom was nearby and lunch was in about five to six minutes. I was suspended from school a week ago because I gave a teacher the finger. Hayate stood up for me and lowered my sentence from two weeks to one. It totally rocked dating someone from student council!

"I object! Sensei, we need more time to finish our projects!" Hayate's muffled voice echoed through the hall. Last I checked the classroom walls were pretty thick, so I wondered how the hell did Hayate's voice break through.

"Hehe, aw jeez…" I mumbled with a goofy grin on my face.

The moment I heard Hayate's voice, no matter how distant it sounded, all my worries and my troubles seemed to vanish. I felt calm and for once I could forget about my little condition. Just thinking about her and the things we'd be able to do together made me eager. Reconnecting with Hayate was really making me change my mind about life.

I leaned against the wall close to the door with my hands in my pockets and waited. I inspected my clothes and hoped they were okay. Hayate maybe an… 'otaku', but she was well respected amongst her peers and I didn't want to smear that. Deciding that I should tone my image down a bit, I went with some clothes I didn't think I'd ever wear again. Since the last I wore these I've lost a bit of weight, of course not enough for anyone to really notice.

The lunch bell blared and students were running out faster of class than the time Hayate blew up a frog during a science experiment. I still remember the surprised look on Hayate's face while she was covered in frog guts; it was a real sight to be seen.

"Haha, thanks for getting us that extension, Yagami-san." A boy said before he exited the class. "I owe you one!"

"You can repay me with bacon!" Hayate replied with a grin. "Honey glazed or no dice, Price-kun!"

She didn't notice me standing there, so I figured it was perfect for a sneak attack. Hayate walked passed me, still unaware of my presence, her bright smile catching me off guard for a mere moment. She waved to her friend and ran a hand through her hair, the strands weaving through her fingers like water. Hayate was even more interesting than I thought.

"Hayate!" I shouted pouncing on her from behind, my arms wrapping around her shoulders. I waited for the shriek of surprise, but to my own surprise she calmly leaned back into my embrace and smiled kindly at me.

"I was wondering when you'd stop playing statue. You were starting to scare my classmates."

I looked back at her dumbfounded, "You knew I was there?"

"Well, duh…" Hayate said with the roll of her eyes. "Who can ignore a fix foot giant wearing a black sweater?"

"Should I return to my ninja training then?" I asked her.

Hayate turned around and embraced me, her head just above my heart. "Hm, forget the ninja training you still gotta graduate high school." I felt my blood run cold and the girl I found so angelic suddenly became my worst nightmare. Hayate pulled away from me and shot an 'I know what you're thinking' stare at me followed by one of her terrifying frowns. "I refuse to date a high school dropout, so you either crack open those books or I'll crack open your skull."

"Neither option sounds very nice to be honest." I mumbled with a grim expression.

Hayate was a pretty serious girl by nature, she if it weren't for her wisecracks, perversion, and welcoming personality… Hayate was downright scary. She always made good on her promises and most especially her threats. I remember a time when she told me she'd dye my hair pink if I didn't do well on a test. It took me ages to get my hair back to normal; my sister wouldn't stop laughing at me, and Nanoha could barely keep a serious face on when we were together.

"Then you best get to studying." Hayate said with a wink.

I laughed at her and shook my head. I actually wondered if I should get serious about school again, Hayate was top ranking along my sister and Nanoha, I was the only one with a steady average of fifty percent. In fact I was the only one in my family to have such bad grades. Like my sister, I was smart. I was brilliant even! I excelled in mathematics and English, but my sister was amazing in physics and German. We were pretty much tied in everything but those specified subjects; actually she bests me in physical education as well, not that I could really do anything about it. I really enjoyed running around and playing, but I have frequent dizzy spells and if I move around too much I end up losing my breath. I have an actual condition that's worsening, but I'm too full of myself to let anyone know… or I could just be scared.

"I have a question, Hayate." I removed both my arms from her and shoved them into my pockets. I looked around curiously and asked, "Do you _want_ me to try and be a good student?"

Hayate looked up at me strangely and replied, "Yeah, I do. This is your future, Fate… you should be trying your best."

"What if," I awkwardly shifted my eyes away from hers, "I don't exactly have a future?"

"Huh?" Hayate laughed at me and grabbed hold of my arm. "Fate, stop talking this nonsense… it's scaring me. I thought you wanted to be some big shot musician."

"What if I didn't have much time left… y'know, to live?"

"Well with all that stuff you do, of course you're cutting your time short."

Looking into Hayate's unforgettable eyes, I dug in deep and saw that she was truly scared of my question and it's literal probability. "Y'know… forget I said anything just now. I've got my motorcycle parked outside and I wanna take you out to lunch." I said trying to lighten the mood. Cousin or not, Hayate was just too much of a sweet kid to bear with me and my problems.

"Y-You have a motorcycle!?"

I quirked my eyebrow and nodded my head. "I've had it for a while now…"

"When!?"

"Er, last year."

"How'd you even get the money for that?" Hayate's questions seemed endless, yet I didn't mind answering.

"I write songs and sell them. I'm what you call a ghostwriter." Shuffling on my spot, I looked up at the hanging clock and back down to the people curiously watching us; I tilted my head and took a step forward. "You can ask questions on the way, I don't like having… so many people stare at me."

"Well you're wearing all black, the only color on you right now is your hair and eyes." Hayate crossed her arms and grinned. "You're like one of those Deatheaters from H.P."

I felt my eye suddenly twitch, something about Hayate's comment weirded me out. I don't know why, but sometimes I wonder if she has split personalities, y'know like her cute side, her natural born leader side, and her… uh, hm… I guess this side of her could be called 'Hayatesque'. It's hard to describe, she's like onion, so many layers that caused me many tears as a child.

"Hey Fate, you're zoning out on me. Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah," I blushed and shook my head to regain my composure, "You're weird."

"So says the girl with mold in her room."

"Bathroom. It's bathroom mold, and stop insulting my mold!"

Hayate began laughing and used the wall as a way to keep herself standing. Was defending my pet mold really that hilarious? Me and that thing grew up together! It was like a brother to me, a possibly deadly brother, but a brother nonetheless. It was also much quieter and nicer than my sister, so I greatly approved of it.

"First, you've got mold in your bathroom and now you have a seagull as a pet," Tears began to form at the edges of Hayate's eyes as she continued to laugh. "What next? A lobster name Rob—oh, oh whatever happened to that fruitcake you planted in the backyard?"

I felt my cheeks begin to burn. Hayate's never laughed at me this much since Alicia wet her pants in kindergarten and I took the blame for it. We went up on stage at the same time side by side, Alicia was so scared she lost control and gave me her most desperate/scared face. I ended up acting like her and insulted myself… it took three years for people to forget that, and we transferred schools!

"Well, Arf dug that up and ate it." I was tempted to tell Hayate that Alicia was the one that planted the fruitcake, not me… but I remembered the eager face my sister made when she planted it. I ended up planting a real tree in its place.

"Whatever happened to Arf?" Hayate asked me with innocent curiosity. "I haven't seen her in a while."

"Well… that's because she died about two years ago."

"I… I'm sorry."

Hayate caught a glimpse of the time and decided we better just stay in the school. I would've been okay with that, as long as I got to stay near her I was happy, but just before I could suggest that we should just go down to the cafeteria, Hayate said she had to go to student council and ran off. I agreed to just see her later, but deep down I was a little sad. It took me a lot of courage to come out here today… only to get shot down. I waved to her, but it was too late. Hayate had bolted down the hallway and disappeared from sight. For a girl that spends most of her time eating potato chips and reading manga, she sure can run.

After two minutes of self contemplation and another minute to snap myself out of it, I forced myself into the classroom Hayate exited from not too long ago. Hayate, myself and Nanoha were all in the same class while my sister got stuck in a different one. It was like this since junior high. The three of us would always be in the same class and my poor twin would be stuck all alone with the, and I quote: "snot faced losers with shit for brains".

Seeing the class was kind of nostalgic, but it still brought me great pain. I remember spending every second of class gazing intently at Nanoha's back, daydreaming of her and what we could be. I remember I had the stupidest of smiles plastered on my face whenever I wandered off into Wonderland. In that magical world Nanoha was my princess and I was her prince. She was happy with me and as long as she was smiling the world we resided in was in peace and harmony.

I was so happy just being able to watch her, it made me feel better knowing she was nothing but an arms' length away from me. I had her in my grasp even though people thought we hated each other. I missed that time, it was so much easier.

"F-Fate-chan, what are you doing here?"

I whirled around and stumbled on a desk; my back painfully hit the edge just before I tumbled back and landed on my head, my neck bending awkwardly so my head just grazed my collarbone. I thought the pain would've ended there, but as always, I was wrong. I managed to crack an eye open only to have it sealed shut when my right knee crashed into it.

"Fate-chan!" My ears were ringing, but I could still hear Nanoha's voice break through. "Oh my gosh, Fate-chan, are you okay!?"

"Uhnn…" I groaned.

"Fate-chan, what the hell are you doing!?" Nanoha screeched. Immediately I felt her hands grab hold of me as she tried to straighten me out. "Jeez, I thought you were supposed to be graceful…"

"Alicia's the graceful twin; I'm the adorable but clumsy twin with the sweet rack." I replied with a huff.

Nanoha placed a hand on my head and pushed my fringe up, revealing my eyes. Her hand hovered over my forehead temporarily before pulling away. "I-I… you know what's funny?"

"Hm?" I managed to sit up straight, but the kink in my neck continued to pulsate in regular intervals. Fuck it hurt. Jesus Christ, whoever it was that invented the desk should drop dead. Evil contraptions from hell.

Nanoha stared into my eyes and smiled an expression that I haven't seen in months. "I forgot how pretty your eyes are."

"Nanoha," I said, "Go look into my sister's eyes. I bet she'd care more about what kinda bullshit you're spouting than me."

"I suppose I deserved that."

"Damn right you did." I pulled on my collar and smoothed out my sweater, a nervous habit I procured from my drama club days. I didn't want to be near Nanoha, not right now at least. Not while both my heart and mind were in such a jumbled state. I couldn't bear to look at her, but I also couldn't stand not being beside her—a _need_ I didn't _want_… I guess.

A piece of me wanted to reach out and hug her, but another told me that she might just think it was sexual harassment and call her 'boyfriend' to have him lynch me. I didn't know how to act around her and it pained me to act this way. I knew everything about her, yet I knew absolutely nothing. Why was love so annoying?

"Nanoha, I… I want to know why you do this." I tried to find the right words to express myself, but they just wouldn't come. "I don't understand how you can stay with what's his face and put up with his abuse while you can be with me instead. Is it because we're both girls or is it because you're scared of what might be? Ne, tell me Nanoha…"

The silence swivelled around us like silken threads weaving us together. I was scared to hear Nanoha's reply, honestly I didn't want to hear it, but I needed to. I needed to know why she allowed herself to get hurt—no… I _needed_ to know that this shit wasn't my fault. I needed to know that my passed actions didn't set this trap and that the reason why Nanoha stays with him is because she's scared to see what kind of future she'd have with me. Who am I kidding exactly? What kind of future could Nanoha have with someone who was dying from more than one cause?

"I don't know what you're talking about, Fate-chan."

I grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked at it to snap me out of my stupor. "You know very well what I mean, Nanoha. Why the fuck are you fooling around with me, with my heart, when you obviously don't have feelings for me?" I yelled. "Are you doing this because you don't want me to be with anyone else, or are you doing this because you want to be selfish? Tell me Nanoha; tell me why you keep toying with me!"

Once again silence weaved around us, the threads of reality and desperation drawing us closer. The look in Nanoha's eyes was murky and shrouded in uncertainty, something I was once able to cleave through and clear… but the times have changed and now I couldn't get passed the smog surrounding Nanoha's troubled heart.

"Ne, Fate-chan…" Nanoha said as she cupped my cheek. Her hand was so warm, and if she held onto me much longer I'll be butter melting through her fingers. "Do you remember our first kiss?"

"How can I forget?" I muttered darkly. "You tried to drown yourself and I had to give you mouth to mouth resuscitation. It wasn't exactly a fun experience…"

"Er—right, I forgot about that." Nanoha giggled sheepishly and smoothed out her skirt. "I mean the real one. Y'know, that nervous kiss that took us forever to do."

"You mean the one where you sneezed on me?"

Crimson flared on Nanoha's cheeks as she recalled the moment. "No. The one before we did it," she blurted out shamelessly, her blush deepening to a darker red. "You remember it! You have to!"

Now it was my turn to blush. I could remember that moment vividly, but I always thought it was a dream. It was just too farfetched to have actually happened. I was nine, she was barely ten, and while cleaning her brother's room we stumbled upon his secret stash of po—oh dear God.

"Hah, I knew you remembered it!"

"That can't be real!"

Nanoha looked down at her chest and puffed it out. "Of course they're real! Yours look more out of proportion than mine do."

"You're Japanese, a meagre arsenal like that can't be compared to my superior genetic upbringing." I replied with a snarky tone.

"I'm going to kick your ass for that!"

That's when it hit me. Why the hell was Nanoha acting like this? "What the fuck is wrong with you, woman!?" I scrambled away from Nanoha and got back on my feet. She looked up at me with a teary eyed expression and pleaded for me to come back. "Nanoha, answer me. What's wrong with you now? Why'd you bring up that old story?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Something seems off about you." I couldn't place it, but Nanoha just seemed so weird. "You're all… glowy and bubbly. Where's the Nanoha that liked to suffer in silence? I liked her better; at least she spent time with me instead of forcing herself on me whenever we're alone."

The beautiful girl before me cocked her head and smiled—damn that smile, makin' me fall for her all over again. "I miss _you_."

"Er… right."

"No really, I mean it…"

A sinking feeling began to creep up on me and the need to run away grew stronger. Nanoha was here, right for the taking, but I made a commitment to Hayate… w-what should I do? I love Nanoha, but she's being retarted with that ferret. Hayate's my cousin—wait, she's second cousin—and I like her… sorta.

"Lunch is almost over. I-I gotta go…" Taking a step back, I continued to fight back my carnal urges…

"Fate-chan," Nanoha cooed, "I love you…"

"No…"

"Don't go, stay with me…"

"No…"

My mind reeled back the moment I felt Nanoha's arms wrap around me. She smelled so good, nothing like Hayate. She felt so warm and inviting, but at the same time she felt dangerous and risky. My breathing picked up, my puffs of air coming in shorter intervals each time. Nanoha didn't seem to notice it, but I was beginning to feel nauseous… oh no.

"I got to go!" I shouted out as I pushed Nanoha away from me. "I'llseeyoulater. Baibai."

Nanoha chased after me, her hand grazing my arm briefly before I exited the room. "Don't run to her! You belong to me. I'm the only one that should love you, Fate-chan, don't you see! Hayate's just using you, you know this!"

'Lies, all lies…' My vision was blurring and my chest hurt, but I couldn't deny I had those very suspicions about my 'girlfriend'; everything just seemed so out of place with her.

I could feel my heartbeat palpitate and my grasp on reality slip. I could barely walk straight, my shoulder crashed into the wall closest to me and my feet stumbled over each other—Tiana! I raised my right hand and forced it to clench and unclench. The trembling scared me, but I needed to get to my phone. "T-Tiana…" I called out weakly. My hand fished around my pocket, fumbling with the trinkets and wrappers tucked inside. "Tia…" Finally I felt the cool metal that could only belong to my cell-phone or keys; hopefully it was the phone I'd pull out. Thankfully I was right and flipped open the device, my thumb hovered over the numbers, my eyes unable to focus. 'Just press one,' I told myself. 'Just press one.'

Du-ru-ru-ru… du-ru-ru-ru du—

"What is it now, Fate?"

Hearing the sound of Tiana's voice soothed me. It was going to be alright as long as Tiana was there. "H-Help…" I whispered just as the darkness engulfed me and the cold tiled floors welcomed my body.

_As long as Tiana is here… everything… wi-will… be fine… as long as Tiana… is here… everything will be… fine… as long as… T-Tiana… ahn_…


	5. Chapter 5

**xUkulele**: Oh snaps I finally updated! I want to apologize for chapter four. I edited it in the middle of the night after a long shift at work and posted it at 5am. I just wanted to update for the sake of updating, and also for the fact I feel horrible for not posting anything in like a dinorsaur's age. I sincerely apologize for that. Actually, you can see how tired I was when I wrote my author's note. I actually lost the ability to count. When I spoke about how I was helping my wife with our "daughter" I meant our "daughter**s**". Notice the 's'. My wifey had twins and it was her own fault for it being hereditary (she's unfortunate enough to have an identical older twin whom she loves to hate). Anyways, the twins don't like each other.

Okay, I rambled on sorry. I'll go back and edit chapter 4 when I have the chance to, or (now this is the largest possibility) my A.D.D kicks in and I forget completely. **Also… I posted chapter 5 at 6:42 without any sleep! So prepare for typos galore!**

Now chapter 5 is… uhh… chapter 5. You can say I went back to my roots… comedy. Yes, I tried to be funny. Also beware of fart jokes. Yes, I xYuki now known legally as 雛森 雪, have hit rock bottom and used… fart jokes. Good God, I fail.

**The official summary for ch5: I sent the entire group off for pho. Hayate and Carim are playing chicken in the hospital. And God knows where Subaru is.**

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Okay, since I hit the 60reviews (surprisingly enough) I have only hurt 3-5 peoples' feelings with this story. LOL somehow one super-idiot managed to get a hold of my person email and wrote me a very long and poorly worded hate-mail. I couldn't tell where one sentences ended… Or what most of the words said.

Anyways, I'll try to answer some reviews. :D

To **Wakai Kaze** - Would it be a Team GEMINI story without some form of harem? No. :D

To **Silencian** – I actually did trip over a desk like that, so I can agree with you. Also yes, Tiana should never _ever_ drive.

To **Lance58 **– The shit has hit the fan in this chapter, my friend! Ho ho ho!

To **KoSSa** – Yeah they all have their problems which I'll be doing in separate arcs per chapter. Each one will go deeper into their reasoning and what nots.

To **darkvalk** – Yes, good! Laugh at Squishy all you want, because he'll be here for a while.

To **Kadd** – Lol I'm glad you liked the FaYate scene. :P Also I took a look at your profile and rofled. I have had so many experiences like that… -.-; Idiot people are idiots. Also that tree house? Yeah, my friend nailed her hand to the tree, I fell down it again… and well… we're deciding on whether we should give up or build a moat. So far we're half way done the moat. A.D.D For the win! The moment "moat" came up in the conversation; we totally forgot what we were doing and just started digging.

To **Honulicious **–It is very obvious that Hayate is trying her best to make Fate a better person, they are family after all. Fate could be dying of multiple reason or maybe metaphorical ones, who knows. Y'know like in all good K-Dramas someone has to die. It's the law. :P

To **Jocknerd23** – Haha, always a pleasure reading one of your reviews. The humorous beginning took me the longest to write actually… everything after that was just prodding done by **smiggers** who got impatient. And yes, gotta love Hayate, she's my favourite. :3 I shall name a goldfish after her, and pretend to never notice when my wife replaces it for a new one.

To **Yuri Lover** – The whole bad-ass Fate thing still lives on, but even in chapter one Fate says it's just a façade to scare Nanoha away. As for where Hayate x Fate started, I did that. Though I'm sure other people have done the same before me, I was the first to post it. My epic shit long story SnP v2 was the first, but I'm sure someone else on here was leading up to it. Oh well, as long as no one takes my Prindy and FaRim I'm as happy as can be.

To **Setsuna Kobayashi** – dot, dot, dot. Say wut…? o-o

To **Nanoha89-san** – Hopefully this chapter answers your questions and the questions everyone else has about the latest bastard child of my A.D.D. "Funny yet sad" describes TeamG to a T. LOL

To **Karai-san** – Oh God that kiss! You have no idea how much I wanted to go into that, but I couldn't. I had to save the innocence of that moment and keep it so quiet that you could hear Nanoha's heart break. Hayate shall remain super cute throughout this story, she'll have a bit of a darker role soon, but that will pass very quickly.

To **Alavon** – I spelt your name right! Sorry the update took me a while. A.D.D and ｔree-house preoccupied me.

To **Jokulhaup** – You're not laughing? Haha, I am though! :0 So I still consider it a humor~

To **SpicyTofu** – The answer: no.

To **Spicy Chicken** – Give me an email or sign up to so I can properly reply to you! :T I hope this chapter answers some of your questions and enlightens your curiosity.

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**Till next time folks!**

6 Chapters Left**  
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_I see the way you go and say you're right again,  
Say you're right again  
Heed my lecture

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_

"Hey, do you think the boss'll wake up, Red?" a gruff male voice asked. A confident snort and a 'shut up' told me that Tiana was close by. "Hey it's an honest question! Dis be da third time she's been in de white house dis month, yo… I'm worried 'bout ol' skoo-bus 'ere."

"Oh will you stop with that short handed way of speech, Vice? You're making me sound stupid by association." A noticeably irritable voice added—this was definitely Ginga, and by the sounds of things, she was close to getting her period. "We're all worried about, Fate-san… but we don't need to keep these 'what if' stories in our heads."

"Gingy's right, from this point on no negative thoughts, okay?" Tiana proclaimed. "We'll send her positive juju!"

"Tia, do you even know what 'juju' means?" Ginga quipped, her voice sounding more and more irritated with each syllable.

Tiana laughed and said, "No, but I heard it on 'Ice Age'."

"Hey, can I picture her in her underwear while I send her the positive vibes?" Vice asked a perverse grin probably plastered on his moderately attractive face. "Cause I can probably send her the good stuff if I do."

The sound of the door opening alerted me as four new people entered the room. I heard two distinctive accents, one from Osaka and the other from… Australia—no, it was British… I think? I don't know, but I could tell right away that it was Hayate and the ESL teacher with the big boobs and the even bigger ego, Carim Gracia.

"Calm down, Vice-san." A gentle yet suave voice said. "I believe Tiana-san only suggested you to send her positive 'juju', not get our good captain here pregnant."

"H-Hey! We all know what'll happen to me if I even think about the boss like that!"

"Yep," that charming voice chuckled, "she'll, and I quote: 'cut yer balls off n' feed em to ya'."

"Er—exactly! I kinda like havin' ma danglers where dey at, Dawg."

"Argh!" Another frustrated growl coming from Ginga's direction. "Will you _please_ stop talking like you didn't graduate from TouDai!? It's shameful!"

I heard Vice's cheerful laugh and felt a whole lot better. He was a good guy, a perverse idiot, but a good guy nonetheless. Vice knew how to lighten up the room no matter how sad and depressing the situation was. I valued him as a friend and I knew I could count on him no matter what.

"Anyways, I believe I have the solution to rouse our little comatose potato up." The sound of rustling fabric made me curious, what object could possibly force me to open up my eyes I wonder. "Thanks to Nanoha-san, I believe these tidy whites'll do the trick."

"What the fuck, Griffith!?" both Tiana and Vice shouted as they burst out into laughter.

"These are still warm and I hope you aren't getting a chill, Nanoha-san."

I didn't notice it before, but I could feel a hand holding onto my own. It was so warm and soft to the touch, I wished it could envelope my whole body and let me sleep. The hand squeezed gently and released the pressure only to re-tighten and release once again. It was a soothing motion that comforted me when my world was dark.

"I-I'm fine…?"

The suave voice, which I can now clearly identify as Griffith Lowran, chuckled and sighed. "Such cute little teddy bear print underwear. I bet Fate-san would love to see these for herself."

Tiana scoffed and punched Vice in the arm, the sound of her knuckles slamming into his arm was rather alarming. "As if she hasn't seen them before!"

"T-Tiana-san!"

"Oh come on, the fact things between you and golden girl here got a little heated seven years ago cannot be denied!" Tiana stated.

"So this is a truth?" Hayate added whimsically.

"Yes, like the cake."

I heard Hayate gasp and said, "But the cake… it-it's a lie!"

"No, not this one. Not this one…"

The room erupted in cheerful laughter at the silly antics Hayate and Tiana displayed. They were comical geniuses when they weren't at each others' throats.

The hand that felt so warm suddenly went cold. "What happened between you and my sister, Nanoha?" a low, rather eerie voice asked.

"I-It's nothing you should really care about, Alicia-chan." Nanoha said in a pitiful attempt to explain. "I was really messed up back then remember? And I really didn't know what I was doing per say..."

"Y'know, it's funny how different you act when your boyfriend isn't around…" I heard my sister grumble. I think her voice was the nearest one, but I'm still not too certain. "Anyway, Griffith, get that filthy thing away from me."

"Aw, but they'll wake the captain up for sure!" Griffith protested. "And it isn't my fault you chose to sit closest to her."

"I agree with four eyes here. We just have to keep talking about how awesome Nantoka's panties are." Tiana said backing Griffith up.

"G-Guys…"

Griffith chuckled again and the sound of fabric rustling made me curious. "Well, if the undies don't wake her up, maybe having Vice-san pass gas in her face will work like last time."

"Hey, I thought we agreed to never speak of that again!" Vice shouted. "It was an accident and you know it! You know what happens when I have cheese…"

"I'll admit, having Vice's ass in your face will either wake you up… or kill you." Tiana huffed.

Vice stamped his foot and growled, "Hey you're no bed of roses down there either, honey."

"Will you both _please_ shut up!" Ginga screamed. I could imagine her hair frizzing up and curling from her rage. Fun times with Ginga, fun times. "You're grating my nerves and I swear the next stupid thing I hear, I'm pulling out my ruler!"

"Erm, now would be a bad time to say… I had a double cheese burger with extra cheese?"

"…"

"I suggest opening a window now…"

The foulest of smells travelled up my nose, I couldn't exactly place it, but it smelled something along rotten eggs, burnt hair—wait, was that burnt hair!?

My body lurched forward, my free hand shooting towards my nose in an attempt to block it from the offending smell. "Jesus Christ, Vice! It smells like someone died in here—and I don't mean me!" I started coughing, but that was a bad idea. The smell snuck in through my mouth—oh God, I can taste it! "Someone open a fucking window now!"

I couldn't believe how bad it smelled! My eyes were literally burning and I haven't even opened them yet! Oh jeez, the smell is prying my eyelids open; it was like rubbing freshly cut onions directly to my corneas then jamming a nail made of lemons through them. Oh my God… aww… man oh man… jeeez!

"T-Tiana-san, help me open the window!" The sound of Ginga and Tiana struggling to open the window rattled my brain, why the hell was it taking so long to open a friggen window!?

"Griffy, help us out here!" Tiana roared. "Hurry before the smell peels the wallpaper!"

"Hm, maybe you should, um… unlock it first?" Griffith suggested with a casual tone, I heard a quiet snicker as he made his quaint suggestion.

"…"

"Y-Yeah… good idea." Tiana mumbled as she unlocked the window. A cool breeze immediately made its way into my hospital room, the noxious aroma of Vice's specialized 'perfume' drifted away as the breeze circulated. "Damnit Vice, your ass almost killed Fate!"

"Hey, you told me if the underwear didn't wake her ass would!" Vice roared proudly. "And look what happened, she's awake!"

The sound of thin fabric flying and landing on someone close, most likely my sister, made me slightly curious. Did Griffith really have Nanoha's panties? And if so, when did she start wearing teddy bear print? They were always either 'Hello Kitty' or 'Sponge Bob'. Did she upgrade?

"Huzzah~ it's a miracle!" Griffith cheered rather girlishly.

I coughed and tasted just a smidgeon of blood, but I ignored it and willed my eyes to finally open and stare back at the friends who surrounded me. Before I could say a word I felt strong, slender arms wrap around my neck and soft lips on my cheek. The smell of lavender brightened my spirits up, Tiana was here. Tiana was always here.

"You idiot!" Tiana screamed into my ear. I could feel her heartbeat pulsating madly; she was trying to act her usual self, but I knew better. I could feel it. "You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!"

"Well to make things fair, I did have a fucking heart attack, so we're even!" I shouted back at her as I returned the sisterly embrace.

I turned to my twin only to be greeted with a hardened expression on her face. For a second I thought I was seeing things, but after taking a double take, I did in fact see a pair of teddy bear print boxers shorts sitting on top of my twin sister's head. Alicia's cheeks were redder than red and if she were a volcano, she'd probably destroy the Earth in 3. 2. 1…

"Griffth, get. This. Off. Of. My. Head… _now_!"

"Ahaha, right-o Madame!" Griffith eagerly quipped as he yanked the undergarments off of my sister's head. "Welcome back, Captain." Griffith added with a fond stare in my direction.

It was only natural I send one back, but the underwear in his hands took priority. "What's with the underwear, Griffy?" I asked him with a crooked smile.

"I don't really; I was desperate to find a way to wake you up." Griffith replied dutifully. He stretched the boxers by the waist guard and grinned at me, "So do you want these autographed or not?"

"Griffith say what?"

"Better make up your mind fast 'cause I'm getting a little chilly without these on…" Griffy added with one of his more playful smiles. The thought of Griffith not wearing any underwear made me cringe, but at the same time it had me a little curious. He was a good looking boy with a decent body, at least I thought so. I opened my mouth to reply, but Griffith took hold of the conversation once more when he said, "I _missed_ you."

"Hah," I chuckled sarcastically, "Miss me when I'm good n' dead."

"That's the thing," Griffith's kind smile turned into a sorrowful frown. Never before had I seen such a sad, almost desperate look on such a handsome face. "We almost did lose you, Captain… please, take better care of yourself. Please, I _beg_ of you."

"Yeah School bus, we can't lose you." Vice added with tears in his eyes. "You're the glue keeping us losers together… without you we-we-we'd… I don't even want to think about that!"

"I hate agreeing with Vice, but for once I finally do." Ginga said with a light smile. "I agree with the idiot when he says you're what keeps us together. We need you here with us, Captain."

"I," I was at a loss for words. My friends, they really cared about me. "I-I… thanks guys. I don't know what I'd do without you either."

"Well you'd definitely be dead without me." Tiana pushed me over and sat beside me, her blue eyes shining brighter than ever.

I wrapped an arm around her held her close. "Of course I'd be dead without you!" I said with a grin. "You 'n me are a two fo' one, baby!"

"Fo sho!"

"Hoosha!"

This whole time Nanoha sat on the other side of my bed, her eyes locked with Hayate's. There was a distinct hostility brewing between them. On one side Nanoha was glaring daggers, on the other Hayate smirked back smugly, an expression I was all too familiar with when it came to my dear, sweet cousin. I could tell right away that if this situation left unnoticed we'd be facing a bad case of 'When the Butterflies Cry', and that was some pretty messed up shit. Also, the way Carim stood beside Hayate made me suspicious—wait, huh? What the fuck was the ESL teacher doing in my hospital room? Furthermore, what the hell was my 'girlfriend' doing with the ESL teacher!?

"Ms. Testarossa, I suggest you stop staring at me as such. It is a rather… unbecoming expression on your _charming_ face." Carim said in English, the word 'charming' was uttered in a rather sarcastic tone which went well with her plastic smile (and plastic boobs perhaps?). I distinctly got the feeling she didn't like me very much, but I don't know why? I'm 69% angel, 31% undecided.

"My whatever do you mean?" I replied playing the fool.

Hayate immediately saw the tension between me and Carim and jumped in to save the day. She waved her hands at me to snatch my attention and flashed that big grin of hers. "Glad you're back with us! How was the afterlife, did it have ice-cream?" she asked me, her expression obviously nervous about the aforementioned tension. "Or did you visit hell instead?"

"Hey, don't kill me off yet." I barked back. "This world ain't ready to lose someone as hot as me."

"Excuse me, but I don't think you'll be very missed." My sister added with a smirk. "You and are one and the same, my beauty shall be eternal!"

"Or at least until you hit thirty…" Tiana whispered below her breath. "You know what they say. If you have the cleavage to show off you can rule the world, but when you hit thirty things start to sag…"

My sister's eyes snapped towards Tiana and then the shit hit the fan. "Want to say that to my face, carrot top?"

"Oh bring it blondie!"

"It is on now, ho!"

_Snap!_

The room went silent and all eyes went to Ginga. In her hands was a foldable sixty centimetre ruler. No one dared to move, because even the tiniest of muscle spasms risked the chance of being hit. Now this ruler wasn't very dull and Ginga was not only known for her fast reflexes, but for her remarkable ability in kendo… very scary. Very, _very_, _**very **_scary.

"Now, anymore silliness?" Ginga menacingly asked her eyebrow quirked in my direction. I offered her an awkward grin to which she waggled her ruler at. "No more?" We all nodded, even that stuck up white chick, what's her face—Carim—nodded her head. "Good."

"I think I just shit my pants…" Vice stated fearful of Ginga and her premenstrual fury.

"I think we all did…" I said in with a shiver. Ginga glowered at me with an all too familiar fury. She aimed her trusty weapon in my direction and urged me to say another word. "I'm sorry, I'll be quiet."

Carim scoffed at us and exited the room. "How… crude," she muttered on her way out. I watched as her silky hair fluttered after her, it was mesmerising and it made me jealous all at the same time. Damn her taking my spotlight like that, how dare she!

"Well nice seeing you again," I shouted mockingly and when I thought she was far enough, "Biatch." Hayate looked at me with disappointment in her eyes and my earlier suspicions were confirmed. "You should go after her. Pretty lady like that might get lost in a _big_ Japanese hospital."

"Fate…"

"Go on, we'll talk later."

"I… you… umm…"

"I said go. I don't want to see you right now… just go."

"Fate…"

I sent Hayate a warning glare and said 'go' one last time. She immediately bowed to everyone and ran off after Carim. We were definitely going to have a chat later on.

After Hayate left things became rather awkward. My sister and Tiana were back to exchanging death threats, Vice and Griffith were doing whatever it was guys do in a room full of beautiful women—yes, they were playing Yu-Gi-Oh!. And all this time Nanoha sat next to me quietly, her hands folded on her lap never once moving. She just sat there not saying anything, and if it wasn't for her constant sighing I would've thought she stopped breathing or something like that. It was kind of creepy just having her sit there and not do anything.

"So," I said casually. "How about that weather?"

"You never told me you were sick…" Nanoha said quietly. "Why?"

"…"

"Tell me, Fate-chan, why didn't you tell me you were sick?"

"…"

"Why is it that only Tiana-san knew?"

"…"

"Are you just going to sit there and look stupid?"

"Yes."

Nanoha sighed for maybe the bazillionth time and said, "Do I really mean so little to you that you couldn't even tell me you were in pain?"

"Nanoha," I looked at her and felt the tears sting at my eyes. "Never _**ever**_ say that to me _again_. EVER!"

The woman who caused me so much pain flinched and shrunk back into her seat. Her eyes darted towards everyone in the room, Alicia, Tiana, Griffith, Vice, Ginga… me. She was looking for a way out, or from my perspective a way to have everyone leave the room save for me (obviously).

"H-Hey, we've all been here for a while haven't we?" Nanoha blurted out suddenly. "Someone should go out and get some food, sound good?"

"Yeah, I can do for some grub." Tiana said with a smirk, she obviously knew the game plan. "Let's go down to McDicks and grab a burger."

"Eh? But I don't want a burger!"

"Yeah, they have cheese in them." Ginga added in disgust, her mind still fresh with the memory of Vice's little accident. "We should go out for sushi. I want sushi."

"H-Hey, just for that I say we go for nachos!" Vice suggested in spite. "I'll order the extra cheese and beans."

"Vice you will not go anywhere near a nacho stand so help me God."

"Come on GinGin, live a little!"

"That's what I want to do."

"Guys, guys," I said trying to settle my friends down. "There's a nice little Vietnamese restaurant a few blocks away. They've got a great beef phở and house special."

"Eh?" Griffith looked at me curiously, his face lighting up immediately when he caught on. "Right, right I remember now. That place has some great food and prices, let's go!"

"Yeah, what Griffy said!" I cheered with a faux excitement. I didn't like their food, and honestly, it'll probably give Vice the worse gas to date.

Alicia was the first to stand up and leave, but not before sending me a worried glance. It was a twin thing, but yeah… she was telling me that I better still be here when she got back. Haha, under that mega bitchy attitude of hers still lies my big sister.

"Hey, Boob-job, pick me up some extra bean sprouts, kay?"

"Sure thing," my sister said with a sickeningly sweet smile. "And would you like that with a tall glass of 'don't tell me what to do' or a nice can of 'drop dead'?"

"Oh baby, you know me too well!" I replied back knowing full well she'd get me my bean sprouts and my favourite iced tea.

Vice and Griffith followed suit, they spared me a fleeting glance and Griffith winked at me as he passed through the door. They left their card game on the table nearby and would most likely continue it when they got back with the food. Vice, however, seemed more reluctant to go, but with Ginga hot on their tail Vice practically ran out.

"Hey Nanoha-san," Ginga placed a hand on the door frame and leaned her head back. "Are you coming with us?"

"Uh, no. I'll keep Fate-chan company while you guys go get something to eat."

"Do you want anything?"

"Hm," Nanoha looked at me and shrugged. "Uh, I'll just share whatever Fate-chan gets."

"And that would be bean sprouts and Alicia-san's death threats?"

"No, the bean sprouts and the iced tea."

Ginga looked at us strangely and quirked an eyebrow. "What iced tea?" she asked completely unaware of what truly transpired between my twin, myself, and her best friend. I waved my hand at her and tried my best to explain my sister's words, but whatever it was I said went into one ear and left through the other. "Er, right. Anyways, Fate I'll bring you back some beef phở with extra hot sauce. I know how you like that stuff."

"Thanks a lot, Ginny."

Ginga left me with a cheerful smile and Nanoha a suspicious look after that. So here we were sitting alone in my hospital room alone with only the sounds of the machines monitoring my heart made. Nanoha looked at me nervously and twiddled her thumbs; this was a habit I thought she overcame a few years back. I looked at her carefully and pondered how to break the ice, it was never this hard to strike up a conversation with her, but now… jeez, it was like talking to a deaf girl who was as dense as hydrogen solid.

"So," I leaned back into my bed casually and grinned. "How about that weather? Pretty darn weathery, aye?"

"You never told me you were sick…" Nanoha said barely above a hoarse whisper. "Why?"

"I don't know really..."

"Tell me honestly, Fate-chan, why didn't you tell me you were sick?"

"I was scared…"

"Why is it that only Tiana-san knew? You didn't even tell Alicia-chan or Hayate-chan!"

"Well all of my _friends _knew I was sick." I answered placing careful emphasis the word 'friends'. "Tiana knew because she was with me when I had my first attack a few months ago. Vice, and Ginga had to help keep this… this…" I looked away from Nanoha in shame and clutched the thin cloth above my heart. "They had to help keep this… _defect_ a secret. As for Griffith, he's always there. Just like Tiana is. No matter what."

"What do you mean by 'defect'?"

"I have a weak heart, Nanoha. The docs call it CHF and right now it's categorized as 'idiopathic'." I shrugged and waited for Nanoha to reply. "Makes it kinda sound like I'm an idiot psychopath, huh?"

"So what does this mean?" she asked me not caring much for my poor attempt at medial humour.

"Er," I looked at Nanoha in disbelief; her eyes were wide with tears and resentment. "Well in idiot terms, it means I have a weak heart and the doctors don't really know why."

"No!" Nanoha screamed. "That's not my question! Answer me Fate-chan, what does _this_ mean!?"

"Nanoha, I don't know what the fuck you mean!" I screamed back. "Whenever you're involved some crazy shit happens and I end up taking the brunt of it! Your boyfriend beats the shit out of you and you run back to him like a scared little mouse when I stand up to protect you. You ended up making me look like I was the one hurting you; you have no idea how crappy I felt when that happened! After I slipped on that piece of shit, Hayate suddenly comes out of the blue and kisses me when—here's the funny part—when you're there watching! And now I'm dating my fucking cousin while I'm still so madly in love with you—ignore that last bit of my word vomit—See, somehow whenever you're involved crazy messed up things happen to me. I made friends with a seagull who currently sleeps in my bathr—"

"You love me?"

"I said ignore that…" I looked away from her once more and sighed, it was so hard to keep my eyes from wandering back to her. "Ignore my feelings just like you always do." A small hand touched my cheek and gently urged me to turn back. I looked at Nanoha, faced her with tears in my eyes and said, "Why are you doing this to me Nanoha? Have I been such a bad friend to you that you toy around with me like this? I can't even remember the number of times I've told you I loved you… the words just seem so hollow to me now."

"Fate-chan…"

"Y'know I get what Hayate's doing to me." I confessed. "I knew from the very start, and it doesn't take a friggen rocket science to figure out that she's only 'dating' me so she could make everyone else believe she isn't fucking the gaijin afterschool."

"…"

"Now I bet you're going to say some self-righteous babble about how I shouldn't let people walk over me like that. You don't have to tell me twice, Nanoha. Yeah, it was stupid of me to let Hayate play me like that, but she's my cousin, Nanoha." I grimaced at my own words. "I'd do anything for her. Yes, she hurt me when she abandoned me to have a real life, and yes it still hurts. That's only because little Fate wasn't enough for her. Now she's back, she's talking to me again… big Fate finally has a use in life.

Just because she's in love with someone else doesn't mean I can't help protect her. Though I wish she thought of a better plan than this. Haha, it took a mini-coma to figure this out."

"That's not true, Fate-chan. You're very important." Nanoha smiled. "You're important to me."

"Cut the bullshit, Nanoha." I snapped. The hand that caressed my cheek so lovingly stopped and trembled in fear. "If you and I didn't grow up together, you'd probably just be like everyone else and see me as a nothing more than Alicia's, twin, her clone."

"You know very well that isn't true!" Nanoha protested strongly. "You're very much your own person, Fate-chan."

"You probably only think that way because I let you do whatever you wanted to me back when we were kids. Even now when we're almost all grown up, I still let you walk all over me." I argued. "You were seriously fucked up back then, I knew that and I still accepted you for you. I was there with you through it all. Even when you were running around with a lighter and setting stuff on fire so you could get some attention from your workaholic parents. Hell, you set your pet ferret on fire and laughed when he got run over after he ran out your front door! I was there, Nanoha! I was always there beside you."

"Ah… that was an accident—and I so did not laugh!"

"Look, no matter what you did or said back then never mattered to me. You were my friend, my best friend—well Alicia's best friend… I was just the idiot standing by watching."

"…"

"That night when you found your brother's porno stash," I took a breath and willed myself to continue. "Did you wish it was my sister sitting in my place?"

"Yes," Nanoha confessed with a sullen expression on her unmistakably beautiful face. "Yes, I wished it was Alicia-chan that night, but please understand when I touched you… I thought only of you."

"Hah, you probably thought I was a sucker for letting you do that to me."

"Well kind of…"

It was ironic really. This whole fucking story was ironic. The troubled twin is in love with the girl who is in love with the older twin, and with my current streak of luck, Alicia might very well be in love with Nanoha. There have been signs, really obvious signs, but I never paid much attention to them because I was a stuck up kid that way. I thought Nanoha loved me, I was selfish.

"Look, Fate-chan, I wasn't lying when I said I love you…"

"But the truth is I only love you only as a friend—or maybe like a goldfish. The fact is I'm in love with your sister—is that what you're goin' to say now?"

"I don't think of you as a goldfish, Fate-chan."

"Hah, you might as well start thinking like that." I laughed darkly. "I don't have much time left, Nanoha. And like a goldfish I'll go belly up while no one's looking—hell my mother hates me enough. She probably will just flush me down the toilet when I hit my expiry date."

It was there that I noticed the small similarity between me and a goldfish. The golden color and the fact I need Nanoha in my life like a fish needs water (and maybe a water filter). Another similarity I had with the little fishy was the fact we had very short life spans, but I swear I don't have the attention span—what was I going on about again?

"Fate-chan, stop!" Nanoha bellowed angrily as she slapped me.

'Oh right, Nanoha.' I grimaced. 'Just go back into your little fish bowl, Fate; it'll all go away soon enough.'

The force of the blow temporarily immobilized me, giving Nanoha the chance to climb onto the bed and straddle my hips. "I said I wasn't lying when I told you I love you. I mean that." She grabbed my hand placed it over her heart, I could feel it beating wildly. "Sure I liked Alica-chan, I liked her a lot. But I loved you! I loved you, Fate-chan, and you never noticed it."

"Shut up."

"You never gave me a reason to believe you'd ever return my feelings, so I forced myself to feel for your twin." Nanoha's grip on my hand tightened with every word she spoke. "To me Alicia-chan was your mirror image! You were the first for me, Fate-chan… but then I got so desperate to contain these feelings I lost control and-and-and… I…"

"Ended up seducing me with fake curiosity?"

"Yes…" Nanoha replied breathlessly.

"Fate-chan, do you think what those grownups did on tv really feel that good?"

"Fate-chan, stop. I don't need you to remind me how stupid a pick up line I used."

"Do you wanna… try it out ourselves?" Nanoha's face became a deep shade of pink; even her ears were becoming flushed. "To which I replied: N-Nanoha, we-we shouldn't… that's grownup stuff… we're nine!"

"Hey, I was ten!"

I shrugged my shoulders and waited for my skull to stop throbbing before I continued my gross little recollection. "After that you pulled me up into your room and did horrible nasty things to me. I can go into further details if you want."

"Y-Yeah, sorry about that."

"I wasn't exactly complaining now was I?" I replied with a quirked eyebrow. "I rather enjoyed it to be honest."

"We're alone in the room; it'll probably take the others at least an hour to get back." Nanoha leaned down and wrapped her arms around my head; her lips were only a mere inch or two away from mine. "I've learned a few tricks since then…"

"So have I."

"… what?"

I smirked her and repeated myself, "I've learned a few tricks, too."

"…"

"Now, one of these tricks is the ability to tell when a girl, and on the rare occasion a guy, just wants to get in my pants. The other trick is the ability to say 'no' and move on with my life."

"Ah…"

"Nanoha, I love you…" I confessed once more. "But what you're doing to me is wrong."

"I love you too, Fate-chan¸ you just don't know how much I do."

"Well," I placed both hands on Nanoha's shoulders and pushed her away. "Your love can't compete against mine."

"No."

"Nanoha, I love you so much… my heart stopped."

Silence reined over us once more only this time the monotonous beeping of the machines were drowned out by Nanoha lunging at me, her lips assaulting my mouth in a hungry passion. She chewed on my bottom lip telling me to let her in, I did just that and soon I felt her tongue slide in. I watched her facial expressions contort from a mildly irritated face to a more relaxed state, then I watched her melt into the one sided kiss. I did what I was supposed to do in this situation, but it was just so… so boring!

How many times has she pulled the 'let's fight then make out after' technique on me? It's all the same now; even her technique is the same. She's been using me as a practice dummy since forever and she still hasn't gotten any better at it. Ugh, I can only imagine how she is in bed—wait no; I don't want to imagine this now. Thinking about that will make this kiss even more unbearable than it already was.

"Mm, Fate-chan…"

"Yes, yes… oh God, Nanoha you're a make out God, now let me go." I said dryly as I broke the kiss. Nanoha looked far from pleased with me, she looked offended actually. "Really, Nanoha? Really? Is seducing me really the only way you know how to stop one of our arguments?"

"No, I'd personally rather take you to bed than just merely seduce you." She replied rather boldly. "Honestly, you're a better kisser than Alicia-chab."

"Wait, wait, wait… huh!?" I was having a hard time understanding what the fuck just happened… huh!?

"Hm?"

"You just said I was a better kisser than my idiot sister… what the fuck was that about?" I said trying to reiterate the situation. "Nanoha, you better pull your head out of your ass now or I'm doing it for you. Bitch, you're getting crazier by the second."

"So I'm crazy now? I throw myself at you, so I'm crazy?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure you're gay?" Nanoha asked with a sceptical look.

I shrugged at her and frowned. "I never really said I was gay, Nanoha. I said I loved you, that's all."

"You say 'I love you' like it doesn't mean anything. You're so unromantic."

"So now I'm not romantic?" Now I was sure something was wrong with Nanoha. "For your 15th birthday I threw a rock at your window at exactly 4:36am—y'know the hour of your birth—with a rose bouquet and a birthday card. To which I fondly remember you sticking your head out and telling me to quietly 'gtfo'.

Let's not forget last year's Valentine's Day. I did my best to impress you. I dressed all normal like, brought you expensive flowers and chocolates, wrote you a song, took you out to dinner at some fancy restaurant that I made reservations for five months in advance, then got you in to see the movie you couldn't get into because you were too young. After that horrific event, I brought you home at exactly 10:00pm, because you said your father gave you a curfew, I then clumsily asked you to be my girlfriend, and guess what you said: 'Oh, sorry Fate-chan, I forgot to tell you. I have a boyfriend now'. Ahyeaa, rejected!

Let's see… what else, I'm sure I've done stupider things in the past for you…"

"Okay, okay… I get what you're saying." Nanoha said with this expression I didn't even know what to call it. "I haven't been the best friend, or anything, to you recently."

"Recently?"

"For while…." I quirked my eyebrow at her. "Okay never. I was never a good friend to you. I get it. I'm the worst friend to ever exist on this crummy crud ball planet."

"No," I said with a soft feather light tone. "No. You're the sweetest girl in the world, Nanoha. You grew up starving for attention and got sent away for that. They broke you and rebuilt you into this ladylike robot that still yearned for freedom deep down inside. After that you got caught up in the wrong kind of relationship. And worst of all you got caught up with me, honestly that's as bad as growing up with Alicia."

"But I did grow up with Alicia-chan…"

"Oh right…"

"Fate-chan, you don't have to lie to me. I know I'm not very nice…"

I pulled the girl I love close to me, her head resting on my shoulder with her arms wrapped around me. I felt this position was perfect and that nothing could ruin this moment, our moment. I finally had her, the real Nanoha, in my arms after all this time. She's back from Narnia at last.

"Nanoha, when you're like this. When you talk in that sweet, candy like voice of yours. No hint of lust, no whiff of hate, just sweet unrefined sugar, you… make my heart melt. That's the sweet voice of the even sweeter girl I met all those years ago. Do you remember the day we met?"

"How could I forget…" Nanoha sighed contently and snuggled against me. "You were sick back then, a cold I think. Alicia-chan and I had just met that day and she eagerly dragged me up the stairs saying she wanted me to meet her soul mate. The people around me always told me that a soul mate was a person's one true love, so instinctively I imagined Alicia-chan's soul mate to be dashing, cool, kind, and well… everything you were and still are.

When she opened that door I remember thinking to myself 'wow, is that an angel sitting in that bed?'."

"I turned to you and buttface and said: 'Alicia, Momma's going to be mad if you're seen here with me'."

"Silly goose, you're identical twins! Her buttface is your buttface." Nanoha giggled.

I poked her cheek and disagreed, "No, I'm cuter. Much cuter."

Nanoha and I laughed, we genuinely laughed together. Something we haven't done in ages! I was so happy, and if I died right now I'd have no regrets—well I'd have a few regrets here and there, but I'd at least go mostly happy, and that was good enough for me. Nothing could be better than having the real Nanoha laughing and smiling in my arms.

"I miss the old days, Fate-chan. I miss the days when you didn't smoke and drink or do drugs. The days when you dressed like yourself and not some girl I could pick up on the street for two dollars." Nanoha paused and pushed herself so we could see eye to eye. I looked within those majorelle blue orbs and for once in a very long time, I could see clearly into them. I could see the Nanoha that captivated me for so long. "Most of all I missed the days when a kiss from you would mean the world to me."

"We could bring those days back, y'know?"

"Really?" she asked me with hope prancing within those inveigle blue eyes of hers.

"Yeah…"

"Mm…"

"All you have to do is break free," I ran my hand through her hair, an auctioned I sorely missed. "Break free from him and stay with me, stay with me like this like this… _forever_."

"There isn't anything that can last forever."

I shook my head and said, "That's where you're wrong, Nanoha. Love is forever, just like music. As long as I have a pen and paper, my love for you can transcend time."

"Fate-chan," Nanoha whispered as she neared me, our faces just mere centimeters away. "I can't leave him. I love him… after all."

"He hurts you."

"You hurt me, too."

"I've never laid a hand on you."

Nanoha shook her head and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. "I can't leave him, Fate-chan. Not right now… we need him."

"Aha, Fate! You were right when you told me to chase after Gracia-sensei!" Hayate exclaimed as she burst through the door with a flustered Carim Gracia in tow. "Gracia-sensei ended up getting lost, ahaha—what the fudge!?"

I looked at Hayate's surprised face then looked at Nanoha's antagonized face, I suddenly realized the position I was in. I'm not speaking of the one Nanoha and I were in, but the one I was currently 'stuck' in. My girlfriend just walked into my hospital room and saw our mutual friend straddling me, only God knew how much shit I was in.

'Stop digging yourself a deeper grave, Fate!' I scolded myself.

"Nanoha-_chan_, what do you think you're doing?" Hayate asked in a low menacing voice.

Nanoha smirked and replied, "What's it look like?"

"Get off of my cousin."

"Get off of her?" Nanoha asked with an innocent expression. "I've got more right to be in this position than you ever will."

"Nanoha," Hayate stepped forward, "Get off of my girlfriend. _Now_."

Carim stood behind Hayate and watched the two teenagers stare each other down. She had a small smirk on her face; the pedophile was obviously enjoying this spectacle.

"Make me."

Hayate moved quickly, but I was faster. She raised her fist and aimed it towards Nanoha, but I caught her by the wrist and halted the assault. Hayate yanked her arm free from my grasp and stood her ground.

"Why are you protecting her, Fate!?" Hayate seethed. "She'll only hurt you!"

"Violence won't solve anything here, Hayate." I replied calmly. I waited till Hayate's stance relaxed before letting my guard down, I was too tired to fight. "Nanoha, you should probably go…"

"But why?" she asked with a hint of resentment.

"Because I'd rather not make _my girl_ any madder than she already is." I said with little conviction in my words. Nanoha looked at me as if I had betrayed her, but I guess with the way things are, I might as well have betrayed her. "It hurts doesn't it?"

"Huh?"

"Standing up for someone only to have them chose the other instead of you." I added just as Nanoha climbed down from my bed. "I'll… see you at school, Nanoha."

"…"

"Oh you know what," I turned to Carim and Hayate with a fake smile. "Why don't you two go with her? I honestly don't exactly want to see either of you right now."

Hayate laughed at me and asked, "You're joking right?" I shook my head. "Why?"

"You know why, Hayate."

"No, not really."

I shook my head again and pointed towards the door. "Out. I want you out. I don't want you around my band, Hayate. I told you this."

Thankfully Hayate respected my wishes and left with an all too eager Carim behind her. Nanoha stayed behind a bit and argued with me, but her words fell to deaf ears and she left in a huff. It felt good to finally tell Nanoha what was on my mind, but at the same time I felt guilty for pushing Nanoha away when I had her… then again how many times did I 'have' her then lose her right after? I think I'm finally growing up.

With Hayate and Nanoha gone I was finally alone; free to contemplate my next course of action. Of course this moment of peace ended soon enough when my sister and my friends walked back in with take out. Griffith and Vice greeted me with a peace sign then returned to their card game. Tiana and Ginga were swapping their meals. And true to her word, my sister brought back my bean sprouts and my iced tea. I couldn't really eat much, but that iced tea made the world a better place for me.

I watched my friends and family fondly and felt at peace. It was lonely without having Nanoha by my side, but it was a comfortable feeling that I could bear with for now. Y'know, I wonder how many times I've said I was okay without Nanoha by my side. I've probably said it as many times as there are stars up in the sky. Who knows, but lately I've noticed just how tired I was of it.

"Hey Captain, you okay? You seem a little pale." Grifith said with a worried tone in his voice. "Should we leave you to your rest?"

I looked at the beautiful boy and smiled, "No, having you guys here with me is the best medicine."

"Are you sure about that? Because we can leave if you want."

"Griffy, shut up and play your card games."

"But!"

"Griffy…"

"Fatey…"

"Griffy…"

"Fatey…"

"Will you two stop flirting already!?" Ginga growled with a noodle on her lip. "Your lovey-doveyness is ruining my lunch."

"Hah, lovey-dovey…" I paused for a moment and stared at Griffith. "Hm, sounds fun."

~さよなら~

I never told my friends about the dream I had when I was asleep. When Hayate asked me if I visited Heaven or Hell, I couldn't tell her that what I saw and what I felt wasn't either. It wasn't a very pleasant dream, at least not a dream they would approve of. You see in that dream I died, but the strange thing was I was able to see everything that happened afterward. I saw the doctors tell my friends and family I had 'passed on', I saw my mother frown and walk away in silence, and I saw my twin sister break down in tears. Tiana who was nearby stood there frozen in shock, she didn't cry… she didn't cry and that made me glad.

After that everything slowed down to a crawl and the only ones that knew I was gone stayed silent. They were the only ones that missed me, not even Nanoha showed much remorse over me. She just seemed tired, lifeless even. Tiana still refused to speak and Subaru who never left her side probably hated my guts for making Tiana feel this way. I deserved her hatred of course, you should always hate the person who the one you love cares for the most. Always.

My twin was probably the hardest hit though. I died. Her twin had died. My death probably made her feel like half of her had been violently ripped away. Sure my sister and I fought, but it was only natural for siblings to fight, even more so if they loved each other above all else. My sister meant the world to me, just like Nanoha. Beneath all of my harsh words and jeers lied my true feelings. I loved my sister and I couldn't imagine living in a world without her, so it must have been the same for her.

Then there was Griffith, the boy two years my junior. He sat in the corner with his head hung low and his hands balled into tight fists. His knuckles were white from the tension he caused, but it was all in vain when his tears fell. He cried for my sake, this proud boy with such a grand future cried for my sake. He cried and cried until the tears ran dry, but he continued to grieve…

My recollection of that dream began to fade when I saw Griffith's face. His tears were the benchmark I couldn't get past. Now the funny thing was in this dream Hayate never appeared once and the only person I could clearly see was Griffith. Was this a sign or was I going crazy? Either way, for the rest of the day, I couldn't shake the feeling Griffy's eyes never stopped staring at me.

Griffy was watching me this whole time.


	6. Chapter 6

_Do you feel like a man when you push her around?  
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end  
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found._

* * *

Taking a shower in the good bathroom felt amazing! The pressure the showerhead released the water in was just perfect, I could feel each little droplet of liquid massage away the stress I harbored. The difficulties of dealing with Nanoha's crumbling personality, Hayate's lies, Teana's and Griffith's worry, Alicia's insecurities, and most recent of all, Subaru's affections towards Teana.

Lately I've noticed how the young Nakajima sister glared at me. Whenever Teana was around me, she'd lose her bubbly persona and put on a mask of cold indifference. I knew full well that Subaru liked Teana, maybe even loved her, and it wasn't exactly my fault that Teana cared about me. I value them both dearly, but I hated being caught in the middle of their little lovers' quarrel.

"Mm…" I moaned happily. The heat was cranked up to the maximum output, and the steam it created was scorching. I was in heaven surrounded by such a burning fire.

_Knock Knock_

"Hey, muffmuncher! Get the hell out of the bathroom, I gotta go!" my sister shouted impatiently.

"Use my bedroom bathroom then," I replied too her with a snicker.

Alicia shrieked in disgust, "Ew no! There's a feathered rat in there, you're so gross Fate!"

"Hey, leave ma' Squishy alone!"

"Faaate! I gotta go pee, hurry it up in there!"

I shook my head and laughed at my twin's plight. Y'see, Alicia didn't have the greatest bladder control in the world, so she had to go pretty often. This was one of my many imperfections my perfect sister had.

"Baah, you win," I growled unhappily.

The knocking persisted as Alicia's impatience grew. "Fate, if you don't get your well shaped ass out of there now, I'm going to drag it out with a pitchfork!"

"No need to be so hostile with me, drill-boobs! I just got out of the hospital," I shouted back at her. "You can't hustle me!"

"Don't tempt me, Fate!"

I sighed heavily and stepped out of the bathroom door wearing only my sweatpants and a towel around my neck to cover my breasts. I wore a black scrunchie to keep my hair from matting to my back, I hated that feeling. The steam followed me in a slow sweep that moistened the wooden floorboards I stood on, but unfortunately even with the added heat, the floor was still cold to the touch.

"Better get in there now 'cause I don't want to clean up after you… _again_."

"Drop dead, Fate…" my sister muttered as she pushed passed me.

I chuckled at her and looked back saying, "I just might do that." Alicia's shoulders visibly stiffened as the words reached her ears. I saw the fear in her eyes, and as cynical as it sounded, I loved how my sister feared for my death. I felt special, like she really cared.

Pushing Alicia into the bathroom and grabbing the doorknob in the process, I blocked out the concerned gaze my sister had locked on me by closing the door. I didn't want to see that sad face, not right now at least.

Taking a moment to clear my head I took a deep breath and stretched my arms out as far as I could. Lifting my foot forward I noticed I had left a footprint on the floor and deduced I was far from being dry; I could still feel the steam rolling off around me.

"God damnit Alicia, why'd you hafta go and pee now?" I grumbled in annoyance. "Maaan, if mom sees this I'm so dead." I glared at the print and wiped it with my foot causing the water to spread. "I am so smart…"

The sound of light knocking on the front door caught my attention making me forget all about the slipper mess I had just made, but the fear of seeing my mother answer the door shook me to the core. I walked up to the railings and leaned over them, watching curiously to see who was beyond the door.

Mother opened the door with a nonchalant gaze. I could barely see over her shoulder, but I saw a rather familiar patch of brown hair.

"He—" the door slammed shut before whoever was out there could say a word.

Persistent knocks on the door brought my mother back; she was grumbling profanities out the ying-yang.

"Hiya, Auntie Preica!" Hayate blurted out nervously.

"Oh hello Hayate, what brings you here?" my mother asks with a bored tone of voice, her hair swaying as she ran a hand through her ebon locks.

"I'm here to see, Fate. Did she leave for school yet?"

"No, she's in bed with a hangover right now… why?"

"Would it be okay if I go up there then? I promise I won't be long."

"I don't care."

"A-Are you sure I won't be intruding?"

"I said 'I don't care,' now what part of that did you not understand, girl?" my mother muttered before allowing Hayate into the house reluctantly. The short brunette haired girl treaded carefully and bowed at my mother, terrified that if she didn't show a sign of respect Precia would behead her.

With her head lowered, Hayate said, "Ehe, sorry for the intrusion…"

"Mm…" mother nodded with a dull expression on her face.

I leaned over the railings just a bit more and saw Hayate gawking up at me. "Hey Babe, wut'cha doin' here?"

"I-I… uh…"

Precia took a step back and quirked an eyebrow at me. She crossed her arms and sighed, "Fate, put a shirt on will you?"

"Eh? But I'm comfortable like this!"

"You're being indecent! We have a guest here!"

"Me? Indecent? Why Mother, I am hurt!" I feigned a hurt expression and place a hand over my heart. "Oh you wound me so…"

"Stop being a drama queen and put on a shirt already you daft girl!"

"I am not daft!"

Precia narrowed her eyes and said, "Then what are you?"

I took step back and puffed my chest out, "I'm a chicken, cluck cluck."

"Put on a shirt Fate, I am growing weary of your silly antics."

"Your face!"

Precia looked up at me with her mouth agape, "W-What…?"

I had done the impossible just now and left Dr. Precia Testarossa speechless, so what do I do after achieving such a great accomplishment? Well I shrug and say, "I dunno, but like you said mother dearest: hangover."

"I give up, if you need me, I'm not here."

As Precia walked away, Hayate removed her shoes and scurried up to the base of the stairs, her eyes never leaving mine. "Hey, Fate…" she greeted shyly, eyes still glued to my body. "How are you feeling?"

"A little chilly, but other than that, I'm perfectly not healthy."

"Oh… um, can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Aren't we talking now?"

Hayate shook her head and made her way up, her footsteps making the floorboards creek. "No, I want to talk to you in private," she explained with furrowed brows. "It's important." I stood up straight and steeled my nerves; there was an aura of seriousness around her. "Let's go to your room?"

"Do you really want to go in there?"

"Yeah…"

I shrugged at her and pouted my lips, "But I wasn't expecting company! Everything's a mess! Oh my God, the curtains! The curtains!"

"Fate, I've seen your room before. I think I can handle it." Hayate chuckled obviously unamused by my joke. "Last time I was here I think I saw Alicia-chan's bra on your lamp, or at least I hope it was Alicia-chan's."

"Well you'll never know that girl leaves her underwear all over the place…"

Hayate took another step, "Which only gives me more reason to speak with you in your room. Alicia-chan's panties will sell for an arm and a leg in the student council auction house."

"But I have a naked girl in there!" I protested not even going to bother with what Hayate had just said.

"You wanna," Hayate quirked her eyebrow playfully, "make that two naked girls in your room?"

"Yes." Damn my horny teenage mind!

Hayate and I burst into uncontrollable laughter, mostly due to the awkwardness of the situation. When the giggles died down, I turned around to lead the way to my room, dreading the moment she walked in and saw how Hurricane-Squishy destroyed my living quarters.

"Hey, Fate?"

"Hm?"

"Is that dirty bird still living with you?"

I tilted my head back and replied, "Squishy? Yeah, he's still here… why?"

"Oh," Hayate looked at me hesitantly and smiled. "Precia still hasn't noticed?"

"No, she thinks that I've officially gone crazy and started talking to myself."

I was being serious when I said my room was a mess. Tiana and I had spent the whole week doing nothing but play video games and eat junk food, leaving the cans, and the wrappers and bags on the ground. It was… totally awesome.

Hayate dashed before me, opening my bedroom door and tripped on my guitar. I rushed to her side to see if she was okay, but when I got there she looked up at me and said, "Hey, I thought you said that there was a naked girl in here."

"That'd be me," I replied with a cheeky grin as I pointed to myself.

"Ha ha ha, very funny…" Hayate said dryly. "Anyway, Fate we really need to talk."

I nodded my head slowly and plopped down onto my bed, careful that the towel around my neck didn't shift as I moved. Hayate sat down beside me and fidgeted as she thought. I inched away, trying to keep the distance between us at a 'business' level.

"So what do you need to talk about?"

"Well it's about… _us_ per say."

I rolled my eyes and sighed, "I knew this was coming. I was hoping I could live in blissful ignorance for just a bit longer." Hayate quirked her eyebrow and feigned innocence, but I could see through her rouse. "I'm guessing you're here because everyone finally forgot about the rumors about you and Gracia, huh?"

"… what?"

"Don't play dumb with me," I growled. "I know all about you two and my role in this sick game."

"… excuse me?"

"Seriously Hayate, stop. I already have one crazy girl trying to kill me; I don't need my cousin doing it, too." I watched Hayate cautiously and took note of the stunned expression she had on her face. "It's okay Hayate, if you like Gracia enough to stoop so low that you'd resort to using me as a meat-shield, I'll do it. Not because you had to trick me, but because you're family."

"Fate," Hayate said slowly. "You. Are. The… biggest idiot in the world!" She stood up furiously and slapped me on the cheek as hard she as could. "How dare you say something so… so… so absurd about me!? I really like you, Fate, I really do. Before you go and accuse _your girlfriend_ of something maybe you should get your facts straight. Carim is Signum's old roommate from their college days. They've been keeping in touch for years. She's family!"

"But I'm your cousin…"

"You're different. I like you like you, and I just like her as a friend or. She is pretty cool once you get past her stuck up British self."

"…?"

Hayate sighed and sat back down, she gave me an apologetic look and said, "I'm sorry if I gave you the impression I had feelings for her and that I was merely using you." She scooted closer to me and placed a hand on my knee. "Fate, when I'm with you I feel like I can fly. I know what I did to you in the past was a horrible thing, but I was young and stupid, but now I'm all grown up. I know exactly what you mean to me…"

"Hayate…"

"I really care about you and nothing will change that."

I moved in a little closer to her, just close enough so I could feel her breath tickle my skin. "So you really do care?"

"Of course, I wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't."

"A kiss doesn't mean anything, Hayate." She pulled back and sighed, something tells me that I just messed up our moment. "Nanoha kisses me all the time, and each time gives me the hope to believe she feels something for me, but then she goes and hurts me all over again."

"Fate, I've hurt you enough as it is. Let me be the one to heal you."

I gave my girlfriend a stern stare and grabbed her firmly by the shoulders and said, "Please, whatever you do… if you really care for me, and I mean _really_ care for me… promise me that you will never **ever** quote that shitty ass DMC dub. I swear to God Hayate, if you do I will hunt you down with a wooden plank and shove it up your ass."

"Hahaha! Oh my gosh, I can't believe you still remember that!" Hayate fell over laughing, her arms wrapped around her sides with a tear rolling down her cheek. "You're still such a nerd!"

I shrugged at my girlfriend speechless. I wanted to believe her words, but the nagging in the back of my head persisted. I honestly felt that this was still a ploy to hide her true intentions, and that no matter how she acted around me it would always remain a lie.

Her giggles subsided as she became aware of my stoic expression. Hayate's smile went from mirthful to regretful as she said, "Believe in me, Fate. Believe in me like you believed in me all those years ago."

"I want to, but I've been hurt enough…" I replied honestly.

"I told you before that I wouldn't hurt you anymore. You've become something more; you've become a part of me."

"We haven't been together long enough for that to really happen."

"We're related. No matter how thin our relation is we're still listed under the same family tree."

Deciding to stop the emo fest between us, I asked her the one question that had been plaguing my mind since she walked in through my front door, "Okay wait, if you aren't here to breakup with me, what was so important that you had to drag me off into my shithole of a room?"

"We've been together for a while…"

"It's been about a month I think?" I pondered aloud.

Hayate cleared her throat and took a deep breath, "Well… we still haven't gone out on a single date yet, and dates are something most couples do, right?"

"So… you were going to ask me out?"

"Yes."

"And not telling me that you're secretly shagging that booby-lady in the janitor's closet?"

"Yeahh… why on Earth would you think I was going to do that?"

"I'm a genius aren't I?"

"No argument there, Captain."

I felt incredibly stupid after that, but thankfully Hayate was kind enough to forgive but only on one condition: I was to take her out on the best date she's ever had. Normally I'd say no to anything that involved hard work or excessive effort, but treating a pretty girl right was second nature to me… or at least that's what I thought.

"Okay babe, you're on." I said with a confident grin. "But you better put up a good fight or you'll end up waking up next to me the following morning."

Hayate smiled at my slyly and whispered, "What if I don't want to fight?"

A shiver crawled up my spine as Hayate leaned in close to me. She placed a hand on my knee and the other on my cheek, her lips just mere inches away. My throat immediately went dry, my breath stolen away by the Japanese beauty before me.

"If you want we can skip the date and get to the ending," I suggest in playful jest, but the way Hayate looked at the door made my stomach churn. "I'm only joking, Hayate!"

"I know you were joking," Hayate sighed. "I was looking the door down the hall. Has it always been there?"

I got up, mindful of the towel around my neck, and peered over to where Hayate's gaze was focused. "Hm, never really noticed it before," I replied with a curious glance to my girlfriend.

"You've lived here for ten years, and you've never noticed that door before?"

I walked back to Hayate's side and wrapped an arm around her, "Yep, never."

"Wanna check it out?"

"Honestly?" I began slowly, "No. For all I know my idiot sister could be using it as a walk in closet, or worse… a study room."

"Wow, a study room? I knew you were a nerd, but Alicia-chan? No way! I just don't believe it."

And as if the Devil himself heard my words my sister appeared before my door with her smug grin plastered on her face like wet cement. Alicia leaned on the door frame and crossed her arms; she flipped her hair and glowered at me, "So I hear you're fucking family members now, should I tell mother about this? Oh no, am I next!?"

"Shut it shit-head, you're not my type." I barked back.

"Hmph, you mean hottie like me isn't your type?" she said with confidence. I got up and strutted towards my sister, the look on her face priceless. "W-What are you doing? Stop that!"

"Stop doing what, sis?"

"Walking like that!" she screeched.

Sticking my chin up in the air proudly, I leaned in close enough for my breath to graze her cheek. Alicia shivered visibly as her glare sharpened. I carefully whispered into Alicia's ear, "I need a favor, dipstick. Do you know anything about dates?"

"What the hell, Fate!?" Alicia pushed me off of her and stormed out the door with a huff. I didn't bother following after her, because I knew she'd help me regardless of her actions. We are sisters after all.

Hayate giggled gleefully as she watched my interactions with my sister. I never really noticed how adorable her laugh was, but maybe the only reason why I didn't see my girl's adorable side was because I was far too busy pining over Nanoha. I'm going to change that. From now on I'll give Hayate my full attention… at least I hope so.

"I see things really haven't changed between you two," Hayate quipped with a shrug. "You two are probably the only ones that haven't changed over the years."

"No," I stated flatly. "Our bond has changed far more than you think it has…"

"Really?"

After looking the door behind me I took my place beside Hayate once more and pulled her close, inhaling her unique scent. "All we do is argue and fight. She keeps telling me what to do and how to live my life, but most of all I think she cares a bit more."

Hayate returned the hug and nestled her head under my chin, "I think she cares more than you think."

"Maybe, but this is Alicia we're talking about."

A sly glint sparked in Hayate's eyes

~かわらない~

"So…"

Alicia paced back and forced as she stared me down, her face blank and indecipherable. I felt like a criminal under interrogation, but I knew my mission was in jeopardy if I didn't get Alicia's help.

"Any suggestions, sis?"

"You've been on dates before Fate, so why are you being such a little chicken shit about going out on a tiny, little date with… our cousin?" Alicia shivered when she said the word 'cousin,' I guess she still hasn't gotten used to the whole incestuous aspect of my life yet, even I haven't gotten fully used to it.

"Well to be honest I've never actually been on a real date." A small smile appeared on my sister's pursed lips as she held in her laughter. "At least on a real one."

"Woah wait a second here I just remembered something, aren't you dating Teana Lanster?"

I shook my head and said, "She and I are a little complicated yet simple." I tried my best to explain the agreement Teana and I had about our relationship, but I lost my twin somewhere between 'fuck' and 'buddies'…

"You're kidding right?" I shook my head and leaned back. "You are… far more perverted than I gave you credit for."

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, y'know?"

Nodding her head in agreement, my sister leaned on the door, crossed her arms and decided to get serious. "First thing you need is a plan."

"A plan?"

"Yea a plan, for instance when and where you two will meet up, whether or not you'll grab lunch/dinner or just spend the day casually walking around—"

"Aw man! You mean I actually gotta think about what we have to do?"

Alicia didn't seem all too pleased with that one, and I couldn't blame her. Even for my standards that seemed pretty stupid, but hey, that's what you get for years of drug and alcohol abuse. Damn, I'd make one hell of a rock star!

"Fate, before we get into any real details about how to 'date,' tell me what you usually do when you're with someone?"

Taking a moment to collect my thoughts, I pondered about the many 'dates' I had been on the past year. For about two weeks I had gone out with an older woman who had a thing for bondage. Whenever we were out on the town I would usually just take her to the mall, buy whatever she wanted, then get dragged back to her place, and after getting a few beers into my system we did it like jack rabbits in heat. I don't really remember why I broke up with her; all I know is that her husband didn't like it very much.

A week after her I started seeing another woman who was around the same age, but unmarried this time… for sure? She was a cute little whatchamacallit, but a bit too sensitive for my tastes. She liked watching chick flicks and cuddling, and when I got her under the bed sheets she'd cry like a little girl about how much she loved me—hm, no wonder I broke up with her after the first date. Creepy little bugger that one was.

Oh, I think I dated junior high student for a little while. She wasn't all that bad, a little on the reserved side, but she was open-minded about things and never judged me. She liked playing video games with me and always asked me for help when it came to school, she also liked the way I dressed and tried to imitate it once upon a time, but I think the one aspect of her that I liked most about was that she…

"Hm, last year I was seeing this exchange student named Noel and I took her out once I think." I explained the story to my sister and waited to be reprimanded for my Neanderthal-like courting techniques. "So to sum it up: pick her up at her place, mall, food, movie, and back to her place."

"That isn't such a bad idea, very simple but it works." Alicia answered in a calm voice. "But Hayate is a _bit_ different than your average girl, is she not?"

"Well I guess you could say that…"

"She likes dressing up and anime stuff right?" I nod my head in agreement. "She also likes things that are obscenely sour and pretty much inedible…"

"She did eat that cake Nanoha made…"

"Ew…"

"That's what I said!"

My sister and I shared a quick but somber laugh at the expense of Nanoha's 'Divine Cooking' attack. In the past Alicia and I have had… brief encounters with this special technique of hers, and it wasn't pretty. Actually it was safe to say we died a little on the inside even before tasting the abominations Nanoha prepared.

Patting me on the shoulder Alicia grimaced, "And here I thought you were the only one man enough to stomach down that shit."

"Hayate seemed to generally like it though," I added with a shiver. "I swear there was a twitching leg in one of the slices!"

Alicia's hand shot up to her mouth as she heaved. "Please, no more! I d-don't think I can handle the visualization right now!"

"Oh, oh! I think the icing was kind of thick and lumpy, and the actual cake was some strange green color—"

"Fate, for fucks sake stop it!" Alicia groaned with trembling lips. "Just thinking about Nanoha in the kitchen is enough to send me back into the ICU!"

I grimly chuckled at my sister and with an empty voice I said, "Well at least you weren't getting wheeled into the morgue after one of her New Year's mochi…"

Alicia and I spent the rest of the day arguing about what I should do for my date with Hayate. The topics were insane! I could barely keep up with all the mushy nonsense my sister was spouting and I had a sinking feeling everything she was suggesting came from a movie, because it definitely wasn't from personal experience.

"Okay, so you've got everything planned now?"

Listing everything Alicia had named in order I nodded, "Yeah, I think so."

"If you don't blow that quirky girl's mind tomorrow, I don't know what will." Alicia smirked at me and shook her head. "You're actually taking her seriously, aren't you?"

"Well," I looked at the mirror nearby I grinned. "Yeah, I think I am."

"Weird." My sister stated before leaving the room.


End file.
